


Running with Shadows

by morgan_stranger



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Gen, Mystery, Romance, Thriller
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-08-27 08:51:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8395285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgan_stranger/pseuds/morgan_stranger
Summary: Dipper/Pacifica... Desperate to escape her life, she turns to the only person who can take her away, dragging herself into a mess that not even her experience in Gravity Falls could prepare her for.





	1. Chapter 1 - An Unexpected Proposal

She stood quietly behind the doors to the ballroom floor. She could hear the muffled chatter and the smooth jazz music being played on the other side. In a way, it sounded relaxing, like the best way to beat the afternoon off. For once in a very long time, she allowed herself to smile. And why shouldn’t she? It was her birthday. She’s allowed to have fun at least once a year. After all the things she’s done to raise her family’s company from the grave, she thought that she, at least, deserves a simple smile. 

All her guests crowded in the ballroom floor, drinking their champagne and wearing their fake smiles, and telling their best stories of false achievements to impress the people they hate -- the fat men and their impudent wives, their spoiled brat children foolishly believing that they are the princes and princesses of the world, the high-hatted bachelorettes, and the bachelors steaming with their manly hormones hoping to get a decent girl. She had no idea why there are a lot of guests and where they came from. Chances are she doesn’t even know most of them! And for the fancy type of people, they were so filthy. She remembered when she was just like them: not having an actual dream of her own, she blindly followed her parents’ every whim and she allowed herself to be molded into a money-grabbing freak. That was until those twins came along in Gravity Falls one summer almost a lifetime ago. She guessed that, in a way, she owed her life to them for opening her eyes and seeing the reality of things. You could say that as time passed by, she started to despise the way her whole family is living, and the only reason she revived their company was because she loved her mom and dad dearly, no matter how crooked they may seem. 

Shaking her head from her thoughts, she focused on how she could make the most of her birthday party. Besides, she will only be 25 once and nothing can ever remain the same forever. She just wished that --

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the emcee addressed the crowd. Slowly the other room became quiet as they focused their attention on him and his booming voice. “May I present to you, the reason for our gathering this evening. The birthday celebrant, Miss Pacifica Elise Northwest.”

The doors swung open and the guests applaud as she stepped onto the top of the grand staircase, putting on her most charming smile, while the band played a cheery happy birthday song. Pacifica wore nothing too fancy, but she looked more glamorous than any of the women in the room, and the men couldn’t help but stare at her in awe. Her emerald green cocktail dress danced as she started to walk dawn the stairs, complementing her large blue eyes and her rich blonde hair shimmering in the light like a waterfall of gold. She smiled at her guests, thanked them for coming, answered some quick ‘how are you’s’, and shook their hands as she made her way to her parents standing by her giant coconut cream cake before the people returned to their dancing and drinking.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart!” Her father greeted as she approached, opening his arms to hug her, Pacifica caught him and embraced him warmly before she moved to her mother and giving her an equally warm hug.

“Thank you guys, for all of these.” She said in a whisper so only the three of them could hear. “But this isn’t necessary.”

“Nonsense!” boomed Mr. Northwest. “Our little girl only deserves the best.”

“Please, sweetheart. Enjoy your birthday party.” Mrs. Northwest cooed at her, twisting her arm with her daughter’s. “We’ve got all your favorite food! We even got that chef from Marseille to make you your favorite creme brulee!”

“But mom,” Pacifica whined. “Like I said, none of these are necessary. We are just spending--”

“Hush now, dear. It’s all we can do after what you have done for our company.”

“You’re our hero, Pacifica.” Mr. Northwest stood beside her and gave her a peck on the top of her head. “You are our beautiful girl. Nothing is more important to us than you.”

Pacifica smiled, actually believing that her father meant what he said. Despite the nagging voice at the back of her head, she liked to think that her parents were proud of her.

She enjoyed one last embrace before her father caught an eye of one of his business partners and her mom moving on to taste some of the finger foods and have more champagne.

Meanwhile, Pacifica took the opportunity of being alone to bring out her cell phone. She had a few missed calls and a couple of text messages but all of them work-related. She sighed, somehow hurt that none of the people she actually considered her friends have even bothered to greet her a happy birthday, not to mention attend her party. They’re all strangers. Where’s her secretary Janis? Or the girls she works out with at the gym, Tina, and Lena? What happened to the invitations that she sent, or the people she’s given them to?

“Happy Birthday.” A man with a deep, European voice was standing in front of her.  Pacifica looked up to see him sharply dressed, with thick, dark, curly hair and a beard freshly cut that must have melted countless women’s hearts,  smiling politely at her. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude on your matters.”

The girl smiled at him, rather lamely, surprised, though she didn’t really know why. “No, you didn’t intrude on anything.” She pushed a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.

“That’s good. Because you need to enjoy your party.” The man offered his arm and she took it as he guided her across the room. The band had now shifted from smooth jazz to simple waltz and couples have taken the opportunity to show their waltzing skills.

“Why does everybody keep saying that?” She asked.

“Because it is a fact?” The man chaffed. “ It is your birthday, isn’t it? You should make the most of it. Drink, eat, laugh, flirt, live!”

“You sound like my father.” She groaned. “Minus the flirting part.” She shivered at the thought of her father asking her to flirt with men.

“Hey, great minds think alike, right?”

“Not most of the time.  _ No _ definitely not.” She teased as he took her hand and started to dance with her.

He was awfully close when they started to move with the crowd of spinning couples, but she let him be. But she still tried to maintain a chaste distance between them. And, though, he held her firmly on the hips, her hand was perched lightly on his shoulder. They glided across the marble floor with ease. They were graceful. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she felt like she was flying and soon all the other dancers had to move away to give them space. The way he lead her was perfectly hypnotizing, and his gaze on her made her heart beat faster, and she stared into his eyes like an idiot, sending more blood pooling on her cheeks. How many women has he charmed this way? What was he?

“I--” She let out, but she didn’t know why or what to say. “I feel like-- I’m not wearing the right dress for this…” she said, her voice slightly audible.

“My name is Erik.” He said smiling down at her in response, confidence pushing his voice.

“Is that how you do it in Sweden? You pick up girls before you introduce yourself?” Pacifica quipped, snapping herself from his trance with a strong force of will, leaving just a trace of an alluring smile to keep him glued to her.

There was a prick in her chest as if something was telling her to let go and just go with it. She’s looking for a way to enjoy the night, perhaps he is the way. After all, it would only be just one night. But if he wants her, he needs to know how to play with a stubborn girl.

“How did you know I’m from Sweden? Did my accent give it away?” He asked with peaking interest, moving closer to her.

Pacifica nodded. “Though I can assume that you have been out-of-country a lot since you’re the first to approach me.”

“You do know that that is stereotyping, right?” He cocked an eyebrow with a lopsided smile. “We Swedes can also socialize properly when we want to.”

“Agreed, however,” She cooed as she gently pulled up the cuff of his right-hand sleeve and took a peek. “It is September now, and most part of your country wouldn’t have enough sun to make you that tan. So you must be staying somewhere warmer. Somewhere with a lot of sun.”

Erik stared at her in surprise, and Pacifica stared back at him until a smile crept across his face.

“How did you do that?” He chuckled.

“I… read a lot of Sherlock Holmes.” She lied. She hated reading those boring old books. “It was an embarrassing attempt, though. I’m sorry.”

“Well, that’s… intriguing.” There was a hint of question in his tone as if he wasn’t really sure how to respond.

Well, that was embarrassing. He didn’t take it. He’s not amazed! “Did I at least got something right?” The young Northwest asked.

“Well, you’ve been right about me traveling a lot. And I have been staying here in California for a week now. My father wanted me to take care of business here until he arrived.”

“So I was right?” She almost yelled in excitement suddenly feeling all giddy inside. How childish she might seem, but she didn’t care anymore if he was not amazed. Her practicing deduction proves to be effective!

Erik chuckled, almost to himself as he pushed her hair back to position, his touch was slightly electric to her skin. “Yes, you’re correct, Pacifica.”

But suddenly a heavy feeling shot through her, leaving her breathless for an instant and she pushed herself away from him. Memories flashed in her head about the last time she was truly happy with someone. She realized that Erik, no matter how charming, was not a way for her to enjoy her night. It’s not the answer and it’s definitely not the release she wanted or needed. Men like him are dangerous. The kind of guy that doesn’t take a relationship seriously. But she is Pacifica Northwest, charming guys like him have no power over her, or at least not anymore. Well, to be honest, she’s only been with three guys in the past three years, and so far the first one was the only one she ever enjoyed. Men like Erik are selfish, in that she can be sure of. Under their beautiful and charming facade, was a patient wolf who would do anything to get what they wanted. Pacifica was simply not interested in men with money or fame anymore. Something inside her had changed a long, long time ago. 

“Ah, I see you two have met!” A man with a thick handlebar mustache was approaching them, just as sharply dress as Erik, and though his old age was evident on his face, he stood like how a real man should with broad shoulders and a built chest, he was large compared to Pacifica’s father who stood beside him.

“I told you they would get along fine.” Mr. Northwest nudged his friend.

“I guess you’re right, Preston. You two, come with us, we have a discussion to make.”

“I’m sorry,” Pacifica began, eyes narrowing. “But who are you?”

Her father chuckled, wrapping his arms around his daughter’s shoulder. “This, my darling, is Mr. Liam Alborn. He is Erik’s father.”

Pacifica looked at the old man, extending her hand and he grabbed it with a  firm grip. She winced but was able to hide it from her face. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“The pleasure is mine. And a happy birthday to you.” For a man looking like he had killed a hundred people, he gave the sweetest smile she had ever seen from an old man. Now Pacifica knew where Erik got his devilishly good looks.

“Thank you very much.” She answered with the sweetest smile of her own.

“Good, now if you two would follow us, please.”

The two gentlemen led their children to the garden outside the ballroom where two other women were sitting on a bench beside a rose bush, sipping champagne and chattering loudly.

It was cold outside. In fact, Pacifica just realized how warm it was inside with all the people in there. She wished she brought a shawl or something, anything to shield her bare shoulders from the chilly air. But there was something else in the wind. Something damp. Most likely it will rain tonight.

“Oh now look at them.” Mrs. Northwest cooed smiling so brightly at her daughter. “You two look adorable together.”

Pacifica stopped in her tracks and eyed her parents suspiciously. “What do you mean?”

“Well, sweetheart, that is what we want to talk with you about.” Her father clapped his hands together. “You see, Mr. Alborn and I have been talking, and we thought that an expansion will be good for our company.”

Pacifica’s eye’s widened. She already knew what they have agreed upon, but her mind fails to comprehend it. Surely her parents wouldn’t be evil enough to do that to her, would they? “When did you talk about this?” She asked, sounding like a rock.

“We’ve been talking about this for a few months now.” Mr. Alborn admitted.

“Pacifica, darling,” Mrs. Northwest stood beside her husband in support, her smile still plastered on her face. “We thought that it would be good for the company to expand our partnership with Mr. Alborn’s. Their proposals would definitely benefit both sides.”

The young Northwest gulped. “But what’s the catch?” She was dreading their answer. She can already hear it at the back of her head.

“We want you to marry Erik.”


	2. Chapter 2 - Pacifica's Refuge

She blinked twice, then shot a glare at Erik who stood there without the slightest hint of shock.  _ He knew... _

Pacifica’s mind went blank as her heart sunk and her stomach started to turn upside down. It was lucky that she hadn’t eaten anything yet. There was a sharp pang in her head, and her vision started to tunnel, but somehow, she could still control it, but only barely as adrenaline started to course through her veins.

“But...bu-but… Why?” She asked, sounding like an idiot.

“Like you mother said, sweetheart,” her father began as he tried to cheer his daughter up. “It can benefit both families. There is a whole new range of clientele for us; a whole new opportunity! This is one simple deal. It’s the best deal we will ever have!”

Feeling dizzy, she took a look around, all of them: the Alborn’s and her parents standing against her, smiling obliviously. Their minds are clouded with the thought of how much money they are going to make in this stupid deal. After all this time, after all she’s done for them she is still their puppet.

“NO!” She yelled so loud that the band inside stopped playing. “No! I won’t marry him!”

“But, Pacifica, think--” Her father tried to talk but she cut him off with a glare that could have melted his eyes.

“I said  _ no _ ! And who are you to make decisions about  _ my _ company? You have no right to set me up! You have no right to arrange  _ my _ wedding!”

“Pacifica, darling. There is no need to be this… this…  _ primitive _ .” Her mother’s gleeful grin had now disappeared, replaced by something hard and stoic.

“And this is  _ our _ company, Pacifica. Not yours.” Her father had now retreated from her, positioning himself so sternly as if he was about to brawl with her.

“I was the one who rebuilt what you had lost!” Pacifica snapped. “ _ I _  was the one who worked day and night just to get back what we had!  _ I _  was the one who fed you, and clothed you! _ I  _ was the one who did my best to make sure that you would be happy! _ I  _ did it all because  _ you _ screwed up! You placed all our assets to Bill! Remember? Because you were greedy! No. You  _ are _ greedy, and you are prepared to sell your own daughter for that!”

“Pacifica! Quit talking nonsense!” Her father roared, veins are starting to bulge on his neck as if it were about to pop. “We had this company long before you were born, child! You should be grateful that we raised you! You should be grateful that we are giving things to you like this party even though you are a--”

“A  _ what _ , dad? Come on! Spit it out!”

“An embarrassment! You are not a Nor--”

“Enough!” Mrs. Northwest stood in between them. “This has gone far enough! What is your problem?” She was trying to sound more sincere but her stiff tone was a dead giveaway.  “Why don’t you want to marry Erik? He’s a fine young man. Is it because of that  _ Pines _ kid?” She spat the name as if it were poison in her mouth.

Her eyes flashed, but she shook it away. Hopefully, her mother didn’t notice.

By then, people from inside the ballroom have started to gather outside, not wanting to miss the latest family scandal.

“You know that a relationship with him wouldn’t work. He’s dangerous! He’s not normal! Just like his whole family!”

“How dare you, mom! Dipper was the most decent person I have ever met! Everything was fine until you started sabotaging our relationship!”

Her mother was taken aback, gasping, pretending that her daughter was making wild accusations.

“You think I didn’t know, mom?” Pacifica spat. “You think we didn’t know about those goons you sent to steal his car? Or that you paid his university to give him bad marks so we won’t have time to go out? Or that time that you had us mugged! Oh, wait! And you forced me to  _ leave _ him! How pathetic can you be?”

It came so fast that she didn’t have time to react. All of a sudden there was a loud clap and her hearing started to ring before the pain from her cheek raced up her head. It was only when she tasted the blood inside her mouth did she had a sense of what just happened.

Her mother stood in front of her, shocked, clasping her hand in disbelief of what she had done while everyone else stared at them with unblinking eyes, not daring to say a word.

Instinctively, Pacifica’s hand ran up her face. Never in her life did she expect that her own parents would treat her like this. This was a new low for them, and she has had enough.

Feeling the tears well up her eyes she ran away from them, ignoring their calls for her to come back and ramming through anyone standing in her way. She bursts through the door, and out the building and into the streets. She ran as fast as she could. She didn’t look back. She was never going back.

Today was a good day. Sure his car got towed, and his sandwich was stolen by a raccoon, but still, Dipper was happy. His mind was burning, but it felt good. He felt satisfied being able to put much progress into his research. Everything was ready for tomorrow. He was excited. Exhilarated, even! Soon, his own work will materialize and soon he will have something much like Grunkle Ford’s work in Gravity Falls: something he can call his own.

He tried to look back how far he’d come. During their first summer in Gravity Falls, he tried to solve its mysteries and secrets with the help of his great-uncles, sister, and friends, and now, after a few years, he will now start his own journal. He will record mysteries and anomalies, he will have another puzzle to solve, another adventure to pursue. He could hardly wait. Like a child in Christmas, he wished that there was no longer a night to separate him from tomorrow. He even considered going to the airport now and wait for tomorrow there.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Dipper.” He told himself, smiling.

He walked all the way from the university lab to his apartment a few blocks away in under an hour. He needed to stretch his legs and he needed the cool night air. The previous rain left the puddles on the street walk, and Dipper was feeling so joyful that he had to force himself not to stomp on it.

Soon, he reached his apartment and headed up the fourth floor, whistling at first, but realized he found that it was boring to climb the steps one at a time. He did need the exercise. And so with a deep breath, he charged up the stairs taking three at a time, racing with himself, making his abdomen ache and his heart beat wildly, until he reached his floor, huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.

“Well! That’s enough exercise for the month.” He was proud of his achievement, though it took him a while to catch his breath.

He pulled out his keys from the back pocket of his pants, whistling again that song that had been stuck with him for days. He couldn’t wait to get to bed. He deserved it. His brain deserved it!

But there was a girl crouched and leaning on his door, her head buried in her arms. Her hair was soaking wet and shaggy, her dress was dotted with mud, and her shoes were missing. He groaned in irritation as he tried to decide what to do with her. However, this wasn’t an uncommon sight in this building. His neighbor was a beautiful drunk, which is an absolute shame. Sometimes she would come home after a whole day of partying, mistaking Dipper’s apartment for her own only to pass out, blocking the way. It was getting annoying trying to deal with her on an almost daily basis, but the landlord wouldn’t do anything about it. What’s amazing, though, was that Dipper still doesn’t know her name.

“Err hmm.” He coughed, trying to get her attention. But the girl didn’t budge. 

He was about to pull her in the arm when he noticed something. 

_ That smell… _ He thought.  _ That perfume… _

He was sure he had smelled that before, but where? Who? Mabel? No. Wendy? Heck, no! Candy? Possibly? Wait, is this…

The girl pulled her head up, her puffy sky blue eyes looked at him with surprise, hope, and a tinge of joy. Realizing who he was, the girl jumped up to hug him around his neck in a tight embrace, savoring that moment with him for all the ones she had lost. “Dipper. It’s nice to see you again!”

“Pacifica? What are you doing here?” There was a prick in his heart as he held her by the shoulder and tried to push her away, but he didn’t let go of her just yet.

“Dipper, I’m sorry to bother you. I know you don’t want to see me but I-- I…” She couldn’t hold it in anymore. She has been keeping herself from crying all night. She needed to let it go.

Pacifica buried her face in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably as she cried out all her frustrations and pains. She let it all out, as the dam that held her emotions started to burst. She couldn’t control it anymore, everything just wanted to rush out and she couldn’t stop even if she wanted to. Seeing Dipper again caused it all. But she didn’t blame him for this weakness. Inside, she thanked him, because after all these years he was still the only one she can show her real self to.

But Dipper didn’t understand, though he knew there was something wrong. He just watched her as she poured herself out. She was so defenseless. So vulnerable. She was still the Pacifica he knew. But he couldn’t take watching her sob anymore. He grabbed her in his arms and held her tight, her damp hair and dress soaking his shirt, but he didn’t care. He held her for as long as she needed. He held her for as long as she cried.

Pacifica reacted immediately, running her arms around him and returning his embrace, pushing every inch of her against him.

It took a while until Pacifica calmed down, but even then none of them broke their embrace; Dipper held her, and she held him. It took a few more minutes for her to completely stop crying and gently pushed herself off him, wiping the tears from her face.

“You look hideous.” Dipper kidded, gaving her a warm smile to comfort her, his arms still on her waist.

Pacifica looked up at him with a stern face, her mascara had run and left a dark stream on either side of her cheeks. Her red lipstick had been smothered all over her lips and her foundation was starting to cake. She just stared into his eye until eventually, she giggled, however softly.

“Still witty as ever, I see.” She said, her eyes not leaving his.

“Of course, Pacifica.” He pushed a stray lock of her hair off her face. “The world wouldn't be the same if I stopped making witty remarks.”

But just as soon as it appeared, Pacifica’s smile vanished again, as her eyes trailed down to her filthy feet.

“Hey,” Dipper tilted her head up, but she refused to see him. “What happened?”

She swallowed, and it felt hard on her throat as if she were swallowing a rock. “Dip, I promise to tell you everything, but can I wash up first? I’m not comfortable looking... like this.”

Dipper nodded, the small smile still plastered on his face. He picked up his keys and unlocked the door before inviting Pacifica inside.

“You can take a shower.” He said, leading her into the bathroom.

Pacifica took a look around and everything seemed to be in the same place as they were three years ago as if his apartment was frozen in time.

For a guy, his home was spotless. The carpet floor was well vacuumed, the books and pens and paper are all neatly in place on his desk, his couch and TV seemed untouched, and there was a scent, like a man’s perfume, had been showered on everything. This was Dipper. Always organized. Quite possibly a neat freak. Pacifica snickered in the idea.

“Here’s the bathroom.” Dipper showed her inside, opening the curtain to the shower. 

“I know Dipper. I’ve been here, remember?”

Dipper blushed at the memory but quickly shook it away. “Right. Anyway, I’ll find some clothes for you. Just take your time. By the time you’re out I’ll have something hot for you to drink.”

Even his bathroom was perfectly organized and clean. Pacifica can’t help to admire him. His place looked better than hers! Does he have someone cleaning this place or does he do it on his own?

“Thank you, Dipper.” She said sincerely.

Dipper nodded. “No problem, Pacifica.” He then closed the door and went to his room.

He was not expecting this at all. He thought that he would be able to have an early rest, but with Pacifica here, he wasn’t sure.

He sighed loudly as he looked for the clothes Mabel left in his apartment. Unlike him, she was awfully forgetful and ends up filling his cabinet with her clothes. But Dipper can’t help to wonder about Pacifica. What happened? What was wrong? What will he do with her? All his plans were already laid out for tomorrow, but he can’t just leave her on her own, not when she’s broken and something was obviously going bad with her. Maybe, she’ll come with them? Personally, he’d like that, even after all that happened between them he’d welcome her to his team. But is that a good idea? Pacifica was never useless. She’s a smart girl; smarter than she’d give herself credit for. He knew that. Though she may not be a part of his team, she will help out in her own way. Maybe the best decision to do now was to wait it out. A solution was bound to reveal itself before the night is over, and when that time comes, he’s trusting that he would be wise to make the right choice.

After gathering a pair of fuzzy pajamas and his favorite gray Darth Vader shirt, he placed them neatly on his bed. He then walked across the hallway, knocking at the bathroom door and informing Pacifica where the clothes she could use are.

A few more minutes later and Pacifica popped out of the bathroom, fresh and clean as if all evidence of the night had been washed away. It took her more than ten minutes to get dressed, though. Possibly contemplating whether or not she will wear those dreadful pajamas. Dipper thought that she’s free to look for an alternative, but the fuzzy, pink pajama is  the only thing she will find appropriate. 

Finally, she emerged from Dipper’s room, toweling her golden hair dry. His shirt was too large and baggy for her lean frame, but amazingly, the pajamas suited her well. 

“Wow!” Dipper chuckled, but it was more to tease her than anything else. “You look like a normal human being!”

“I’m just amazed that your sister still has her good ol’ sense of fashion.” She looked at the pajamas she was wearing, eyeing it as if it would eat her legs off.

“She’s still… silly in a wa, if that’s what you’re saying.”

Pacifica took a bar stool and sat at the counter overlooking the kitchen. Dipper was busy cooking up something, and it smelled like vanilla and strawberries. Sitting on the countertop was a steaming mug of hot cocoa. She grabbed it with both hands, warming up her palms before taking a sip. Her stomach rejoiced to have something to fill it, and its warmness radiated all over her body. She remembered the first time she had a taste of Dipper’s cocoa. He’s not much of a coffee guy, so he found some delightful ways to make his cocoa fun. From mint chocolate cocoa, to spicy vanilla chocolate. It may sound crazy, but the spicy vanilla was Pacifica’s favorite and is exactly the same thing she is drinking now. She smiled as its warmness finally reached her cheeks. She missed these times; the times when she felt comfortable and truly happy.

“So,” Dipper began, looking over his shoulders while he cooked. “What happened?”

Pacifica sighed, mentally arranging the events of that night. She wasn’t comfortable bringing it up but she owed him that much.

With a deep breath, she relayed to him what happened, but she was careful not to give details on what the party was for. It was already ruined. There’s no need to bring it up anymore. But she told him about Erik and his family, her parents’ decision, their wild argument and her mother slapping her. “And that’ s why I came here. I couldn’t find a place to go. I just want to be as far away from them as possible.” She concluded, drinking the last few drops of her cocoa.

The tears welled up in her eyes again, but this time she was able to blink it away. She was done crying.

Dipper was now leaning on the countertop across her. He didn’t really know what to say. It sounded so complicated. What could he have to offer to make things better for her? “So what are you planning now?”

She planted her face on her hands. “I don’t know.” She wanted to say something else but was not sure if it was the right thing to ask.

Dipper went back to his cooking and he flipped something from the frying pan.

“Maybe… maybe I… could stay with you?” She asked. Her efforts of stopping herself were futile.

Dipper quickly turned back to her, surprise painted all over his face.

“Just for a few days.” She pleaded. “Just until I could sort this mess out. I’d be fine on the sofa.”

She sounded desperate, but she was telling the truth. She knew that she will only get in deeper trouble when she is within arms-reach of her parents. However, she understood that it was a long-shot asking Dipper if she could stay with him, even for a few days, not after what she did.

“Pacifica, you can’t--”

“Please, I’ll be good. I won’t bother you…” Now she’s sounding more like a child.

“Pacifica, I’m leaving tomorrow. I have a research project to do in Canada. I will be staying there for a few months.”

Pacifica lost her words. But maybe she could--

“I want to come with you!” She blurted out, mentally slapping herself “Please, Dipper. I have nowhere else to go.”

Dipper breathed, pressing fingers on the bridge of his nose.

“I can help. I’ll cook, I’ll clean. I’d get my hands dirty, scrape my knee… crack my nail polish.”

He bursts out laughing, though he tried so hard not to. He pictured her like Cinderella, wearing a potato sack and washing dishes. She must really need a refuge to go such lengths.  It was almost adorable to think about if the idea that she just wants to escape her abusive parents wasn’t depressing.

Looking at in a logical perspective, there is nothing wrong with bringing her with him to Canada. But if Canada was anything like Gravity Falls, then she would be better off staying near her parents. At least that way, the possibility of her dying from some abnormality would remain minimal.

“Dipper, I can’t stay…” She said it as if she were reading his mind.

Perhaps she is! Dipper quickly tried to build a mental wall, which if it were a real wall, it would tumble in a smooth breeze.

“It might get dangerous.” He said blankly, almost to himself.

“I understand the risks, Dip. I know what you do and what path you’re on. I’d rather stand with you…” She looked at her with her wide eyes, pleading like a puppy begging to be taken home. 

He felt his heart melt. Women are evil! How could they manipulate men with only the way they look at them.

“Fine!” He moaned. “But you need to do everything I will say, okay?”

“Wow! Growing a little backbone now, huh?” Her pleading eyes had now vanished and replaced by her usual sarcastic ones. 

Dipper glared at her. Women  _ are _ evil!

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding.” She raised her hands, giggling. Classic Dipper. “But thank you, for considering to bring me. And yes, I promise to do what you say.”

A few minutes passed and neither of them said anything more. Pacifica thought that he must still be debating with himself if it were really reasonable to bring her along.

Inside, she felt a little happiness glowing, like a tiny ember in a bed of tinder. She needed a place to hide, yes, but she also wanted to stay with him. She was truly glad to be with him again, to spend time with him, to see him, and to speak with him. Maybe she could fix things? Patch it all up as best she can, show him that she still thinks of him; that she still needs him. If she could--

Dipper snapped his fingers in front of her face, pulling her out of her trance. “Hey! You were staring at the wall for a really long time. Are you okay?”

Pacifica blinked. Embarrassed, she pretended to comb her hair with her fingers. “Uh, yeah. I’m good. Sorry. I was just... thinking of something.”

“Well, enough thinking,” Dipper said, presenting a plate stacked with five thick, fluffy pancakes. It was steaming with a rich vanilla scent and dripping with strawberry marmalade. “It’s time to eat.”

The pancakes were beautiful, and the thought that Dipper made it for her melted her insides into mush. But… why? “What’s this?” She asked, sounding a bit too stoic than she wanted.

“What do you mean?” Dipper asked, brows furrowing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean  _ that _ … It’s just… you don’t cook.”

“Hah!” Dipper clapped his hands. “Mabel’s been teaching me! Unfortunately, though, the pancake batter was all that’s left in my fridge. So I guess it’s pancake for dinner for the both of us.”

The girl smiled warmly, touched by his effort.

“Besides,” He continued, rummaging through the drawers until he found a match. “I’m guessing you left the party without blowing out your candles. So…” He stuck a birthday candle on top of her pancake tower and lit it.

“How did you know?” She said so meekly that her voice was barely audible. 

Dipper noted the look on her face. He knew when she was genuinely asking. She looked like an innocent child with eyes beaming with hope. She looked more beautiful that way. Someone should tell her to always be genuine.

“Oh please. We dated for six months, remember? Of course, I know when your birthday is.” He placed his hand on top of hers. Somehow his hazelnut eyes shimmered in the birthday candle’s light. “Happy birthday Pacifica. Make a wish.”

She closed her eyes, trying hard so tears wouldn’t spill out, needless to say, she failed at that. But for now, she didn't want anything else. She's found her refuge once more. But looking deep into her heart she blew it out.  _ I wish for another chance... _

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!
> 
> So here's the second chapter! I really appreciate the Kudos and for everyone who's been reading my work. It means a lot for my stuff to be seen by you guys. I hope you stay tuned. I will be posting new chapters every Friday. 
> 
> Tell what you guys think! I'd love to hear from you
> 
> Cheers, guys!
> 
> \--MS


	3. Chapter 3 - Chasing What You Can't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!
> 
> I'm very sorry, I had to make a teeny-tiny change in the story - So instead of 22, Pacifca would be 25 years old the day she celebrated her birthday, Dipper and the other would, of course, follow. No biggie. This is so it would 'fit' properly on the timeline. Let's face it, 22 is too young for them, right? Or is it just me?
> 
> Anyway, so here's chapter 3. The next chapter is where all the mysteriousness of the story would come.
> 
> Enjoy!

Her eyes fluttered to the sound of rain pouring outside. She wrapped herself tighter in her blanket refusing to get up, sucking all the warmth it gave. She twisted and turned, hoping to get her sleep back, but it was already gone, it had left her for another day. Groaning, she took a look around. Nothing in the room looked familiar, it was too gray; too  _ un-Pacifica-like _ . It took a couple of seconds before she realized that she was not in her room but, rather, she was in Dipper’s. She quickly sat up, looking to see if he was with her, but, to her dismay, it was only in her fantasies. 

Grudgingly, she got out of bed and fixed it neatly just before she left the room and headed to the bathroom to wash up. When she was done, she went to the living room, with Dipper out of sight except for a couple of luggage and equipment sitting by the door. But what was it for?

_ Crap! _ She swore. They were leaving for Canada and she completely forgot! She thought that all of the stuff about waking up early were just part of her sleepless dreams. 

She quickly ran back to Dipper’s room and tossed open his cabinet. She looked for anything she could pack and take on their trip, something decent, something she could wear, something that wouldn’t make her look like Mabel. But when she found none, she left the room, biting her nails. Where will she get her clothes? She can’t go home without risking her parents finding her. And obviously she can’t go to Canada wearing her ex-boyfriend’s shirt and his sister’s pajamas, and even if she could, she would first toss herself into the bottomless pit before she allowed herself to be seen by anyone in it.

As she thought of a way through her situation, Dipper came in with a bag of bagels, a cup of coffee and a shopping bag.

“Hey! Glad you’re awake.” Dipper greeted with a smile bright enough to dispel the rain outside, setting everything down on the countertop. “I bought us some breakfast and something for you to wear. It’s nothing fancy, though, I just bought them from a thrift shop. Good thing that place was open early.”

Pacifica walked towards him, sighing in relief, holding her hand in her chest. “You are a lifesaver.” She said, making sure she stressed each word. There was a part of her that wanted to kiss him, but the rest of her brain pulled her away from making such a rash decision.

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t want to wear my sister’s clothes to Canada.” He tried to hide his laugh, imagining how she would look like. Mabel would look silly on those things, but at least she can pull it off into something cute. But put all that to Pacifica with all  _ Pacifica-ness _ and she’d look hilarious.

He passed her a bagel, which she ate, ever so delicately. “So, what time is our flight?” She asked him, drowning the bagel in coffee.

“At 10.” He said, shoving a huge part of food into his mouth. “But I guess we need to get there early so we can get you a ticket.” He said through a mouthful of pastry.

After their small breakfast, they didn’t talk much anymore as Dipper made sure that he has everything he needed: his journal, maps, graphs, books, pen and some weird gizmo that Pacifica swore was a handheld GPS, though she could be wrong.

Pacifica, on the other hand, took a quick shower just to wash the sleep from the rest of her body. She wanted to be presentable, of course, and most especially to Dipper. She then put on the jeans, long-sleeve shirt, jacket, and sneakers that he bought for her which, amazingly, fits her perfectly. She made a mental note to pay him back. But looking at Dipper’s shirt, she couldn’t dare leave it behind.  Finally deciding that she will bring it along, she put it over her long-sleeve shirt, tucked it into her pants and hit it under her jacket. Of course, it looked good on her. She was Pacifica. The shirt even failed to look baggy, but rather stylish.

When everything was ready, they brought all the things downstairs. Pacifica keeping her promise, tried to carry his luggage, while Dipper had the equipment. They got onto a cab to the airport, only stopping so Pacifica could withdraw enough money for the whole trip going to wherever in Canada they are headed.

Luckily, the security wasn’t really strict in the airport as there weren’t a lot of people, which was absolutely weird. But they didn’t complained about the lack of swelling crowds since Dipper and Pacifica were able to get to the gate in no time.

“Hey, guys!” Dipper greeted the only two people waiting for their flight. “We’re finally doing it, huh?”

Pacifica followed him, though she was careful to keep her distance as if his friends are going to bite. Seriously, there’s only two of them waiting for the plane? What happened? Did everybody else forgot to wake up?

“Damn right!” Yelled a tall man with a scruffy blonde beard and hair. “I have a feeling that this is going to be amazing!” He howled.

“Quit it,” said the woman, with short black hair and purple highlights under a beanie hat who was standing way too close to Dipper. “Are you really going to be like that all the way to Canada?”

The blonde man blinked at her with a teasing face. “Maybe.”

“Guys,” Dipper chimed in.  He grabbed Pacifica by the hand and pulled her beside him. For him to touch her hand again made her thoughts fly away, shocking her brain. “This is Pacifica. She’ll be coming with us to Canada.  Pacifica, this is Felix and Janette. My teammates.”

“Uhm, no offense,” Said Janette, her tone overflowing with sarcasm. “But why?”

“We had some… things to deal with.” Dipper explained.

“Oh,” The girl said, irritated and Felix raised his brows.

Noticing how unsatisfied they were with his answer, Dipper tried to make her look good to them. “She was there in Gravity Falls, back in the… incident. She could help us.”

Felix shot her a surprised look. “No way?  _ You  _ were there? You’ve seen Bill?”

Pacifica smiled confidently. “Uh huh.” She answered, looking at Dipper mentally thanking him, and he nodded. She guessed that facing something closely resembling death itself would be a good way to get her on their good side. Well, that is true only for Felix, who seemed to be fascinated by such things.

“That is so cool! What was he like?” Felix had a childish grin on his face as if he just met one of  Santa’s elf. 

“Deranged. Psychotic. Homicidal. Frightening. You know? For the lack of better words.”

“Wow.” Felix mouthed, mind-blown in the idea that he is talking to another person other than Dipper who has been in direct contact with Bill.

Janette pushed the dumbfounded Felix back to his seat, letting his imaginations simmer, before stepping in front of Dipper, still uncomfortably close for Pacifica.  “I still don’t see how she can help us, Dip.”

_ Dip? Dip! I’m the only one who can call him Dip!  _ Pacifica simply raised her brows at her, though not without a smile. She didn’t want to open her mouth, because if she did, she will ruin the whole trip, maybe even cancel it.

“Just trust me on this, Janette. I know her. She won’t let us down.” His hand went around her shoulder, and Pacifica watched as Janette’s face melted in jealousy.

Yes! Score one for Pacifica!

Feeling satisfied, Pacifica now went to buy her ticket but not before touching Dipper in the arm telling him where she’s headed, just to show dominance over Janette.

Though she wasn’t sure it was really a good idea to taunt her, mainly because she knows that it will only lead into a childish rivalry. But Pacifica hated the fact that someone else was looking at Dipper the same way she does, but will she really risk their whole project just because someone has a crush on her ex?

Despite forcing herself to act all tough, she couldn’t help but feel a heavy weight on her chest, as if something was pulling her down. Dipper was everything to her, and the thought that she could lose him forever to someone else was making her think desperately.  _ Calm down, girl. _ She told herself as she breathed in deeply. There was no need for those kinds of thoughts. 

Pretty soon, the plane arrives, and so did the other passengers, like ants to a sugar cube, But still there aren’t a lot. Chances are it will be a free sitting on the plane since there aren’t enough passengers to fill it.

As they entered the jetway, Pacifica caught an eye of Janette staring at her, eyes glaring. She then glanced at Dipper who was walking ahead of them both with the rest of the passengers, as if telling her that they have a game on their hands. Janette smirked slyly at her and she started speeding up.

_ Oh no, you don’t!  _ Pacifica thought as she also tried to move through the crowd, but there were so many that it was hard for her to squeeze through them. She knew exactly what that girl wanted, and it was what she wanted too! To sit with Dipper during the whole duration of the flight. 

Though Janette was closer, Pacifica was able to quickly catch up with her. Do you possibly think that someone with charms like her would be kept off by a meager crowd? Heck no! All she had to do was say ‘excuse me’ with her large blue eyes and stunning smile and they move away no questions asked, a quality that Janette obviously doesn’t have, not with her emo get-up.

But that does not mean that Janette has nothing to compare with Pacifica. As a matter of fact, her leaner frame made it easier for her to slip pass small opening. The way she glided through the crowd made it seem graceful, dodging shoulders, arms, and elbows with ease.

Still, it was Janette who entered the gate first, pausing to give Pacifica a brash smile of victory. But Pacifica won’t allow it. She  shoved through the people, not caring about being rude anymore, and raced across the platform, but by the time she boarded the plane, both Dipper and Janette were nowhere to be seen.

She walked through the aisles in a quick, constant pace, hoping to find Dipper first, and as luck would have it she found him with his blue hat, sitting a few rows from her by the window, with an empty seat beside him.

_ Janette, you’re a sucker! _ She grinned smugly, rushing to it and finally planting herself on the chair. She breathed, savoring victory and finally relaxing.

But wait. Dipper wasn’t wearing a hat!

She heard someone call her with a loud  _ psst _ . She took a look around, craning her neck only to find Janette waving at her, gloating. She mouthed  _ Thank you  _ sarcastically, pointing at the man sitting beside her. The man looked at her direction though he did not see her. It was Dipper.

“What!?” She looked at the man sitting beside her.

“Wassup?” Felix nodded at her, putting on his earphones. 

“Why are you wearing a hat?” She asked frantically.

“I like this hat.” He answered as if it was obvious.

Pacifica breathed out, defeated, trying to push away her thoughts of how she will murder Janette. How did she do that? Maybe it was her emo magic or something. Damn that girl, making up unnecessary competitions. But if that was the way she wanted it, then Pacifica was going to play hard. She is going to--

“Hey.” Felix nudged her, offering her one ear of his earphones.“Any chance you like Viking death metal bands?” 

Pacifica was reluctant but took it anyway. “Meh, what the heck.”

Metal bands aren’t as bad as she thought them to be. Well, at first they were. It wasn’t anything but noise jumbled up together. But the more she listened to it, the more she could see the story behind the guttural growls. Pretty soon she was banging her head, or rather something that would pass for it, along with the music with her fingers and feet drumming along with the beat. 

But, an hour into the flight, she decided that she would prefer to close her eyes a bit, surrendering the earphones back to Felix.

“So, did you like it?” He asked, beaming.

“I did, actually. Never thought I’d say that.” She smiled at him. “Thank you.”

“No problem, Pacifica.” He held his fist up at her and she reluctantly bumped it with hers, “And congratulations! You’re no longer a virgin!”

Blood swelled on her cheeks as her eyes grew as wide as the moon. She took a looked behind her to see an old married couple staring her with a look of disgust.

“Ohnothatsnotwhathemeant!” She held up her hand trying to explain herself so quickly that it was nothing but a blur.

But the old man just shook his head with a “The youth these days.” before turning his back on her.

Pacifica looked back to Felix who had returned listening to his music, eyes closed with his seat reclined as if nothing happened.  _ That kid is dense, huh? _

She tried to recline her’s too, but not as much as Felix’s, trying hard to forget what just happened. She rested her head, and she could see the top of Dipper’s head from far away, with Janette’s leaning on his shoulder. A shot of jealousy struck her in her gut and it felt as if she was going to be sick. That is something she cannot bear to look at, but still she did. What could be going on with them? Does Dipper know how that emo girl feels about him? And if he does, how did he respond?

She tried to take comfort from the previous night: how he hugged her while she cried, the pancake birthday cake, letting her sleep on his bed, how he decided to bring her along to his project in Canada despite the disapproval of his teammates. A man who has already moved on will not do that, will he? There must be something inside him that makes him care about her, at least for a tiny bit? But why couldn’t she see it?  _ Why are you hiding Dipper Pines! _

She rolled over so she wouldn’t see them anymore and instead watched the golden clouds fly by from the window. It was so calm the way the sun shone with its bright rays like arms extending to all that would benefit from it. She figured that one way or another she will have to bring up her thoughts to Dipper. But until then, she hoped that he would see how much she still wanted him. She’d chase after him if that’s the only way to show him.

Four hours later, they reached St. John’s International Airport, and after having a quick lunch, and making sure that all their things are accounted for, they took a light aircraft to Charlottetown, north of where they were, which was a two-hour flight. Pacifica didn’t even bother to rush with Janette just to sit with Dipper this time. She thought that it was a childish thing to do, and perhaps it would tick that emo girl off since her effort won't make her feel like a special snowflake anymore. When they finally got to Charlottetown, they met with a tiny man with a small, bushy beard and beady eyes.

“Guys,” Dipper called his team’s attention, Pacifica included. “This is Mr. Borton. He owns the house that we will be renting in Roirkshire Hills.” Everyone greeted him a good afternoon, taking a turn in shaking his hands.

“My, my. I thought that there would be more of you.” He said, but mainly to Dipper. 

“No, sir. It’s just us. This is the whole team. Felix, Janette and Pacifica.”

Mr. Borton turned to Pacifica and examined her carefully. “Huh, I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I didn’t think girls like you are interested in these kinds of things.” His voice was high pitched, like a man-baby.

Pacifica looked at him, confused. “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand.”

“Well, forgive me for being stereotypical, but blondies aren’t always fond of digging dirt in the middle of nowhere, trying to look for some scientific thingymajig.” He laughed as if it was the funniest joke in the world.

Blondies? What is this man drinking? 

Trying to humor their host, she smiled despite being irritated. “Well actually --”

“She isn’t,” Janette said flatly. Pacifica turned to her, hating the fact that she’s still breathing. Seriously! She is easy to hate! “She isn’t interested in digging around. She’s interested in…  _ something _ else.”

The tiny old man, sensing the tension, clapped his hand on Dippers back, rather roughly. “Okay then, here’s the key to the house.” He dropped it on his open palms. “Be careful out there. There are a lot of weird things going on in that rickety old town. That’s why I moved here!”

“Don’t worry, sir. We’ll be fine.”

Mr. Borton nodded as he hopped back on his car, mumbling  “Kids these days and their crazy gigs.”

They now got onto a bus going to Roirkshire Hills. Pacifica caught the window seat and leaned her head on it. She breathed, drowning her irritation of Janette, and distracting herself by watching the people going on about their own business. Charlottetown was a beautiful place with simple people living a simple life. The hustle of the city is not seen in this place and she thought that if she would disappear, she will disappear here. 

She was exhausted, and all she wanted was to get a nice sleep in a warm bed. Not once during their whole trip did she close her eyes. She’s bad at traveling. She couldn’t sleep easily on the uncomfortable seats, and even if she could, it would leave her with a terrible case of a stiff neck.

_ Roirkshire Hills.  _ She laughed at the name. What kind of imbecile would name a place like that? First, it was unpronounceable, second it’s almost impossible to spell, and third, what does it even mean? What is ‘Roirk’? What is ‘Shire?’ Like the place where  _ Hobbits _ live? It was as if the person who named it was just making sounds work together to make an exotic name for the town. But the more she dwelled on it, the more she imagined Gravity Falls. She did miss that grimy old place, the population of simpletons, their crazy traditions, and festivals. Perhaps it’s sunny there now, with the  leaves starting to fall from the trees. It was her favorite part of the year -- the only time when she could jump over a pile of dried leaves that the gardener had just gathered -- the season where it is cold but with the sun smiling down on her with a warm kiss. She felt like a child inside, something she has not felt in a very long time.

As she dwelled on her childhood memories in Gravity Falls, she felt someone sit beside her. She turned and saw Dipper smiling at her, a cup of coffee in his hand. “Caramel macchiato.” He said, offering it to her. 

A rush of heat ran up her chest, up to her ears and cheeks as she grabbed it from his hand.  “Thank you.” She said in almost a whisper. She smiled at him, but it wasn’t forced or made to charm him. It was natural. It was beautiful.

“You okay?” Dipper asked nudging her with a toothy grin.

Pacifica nodded, she can feel her eyes now becoming heavy, but seeing him smile made her feel it was worth it. “Yes, I’m good.”

“Well, we have a six-hour trip ahead of us. Feel free to lean on my shoulder if you want to close your eyes.”

Pacifica nodded gingerly. She’d love that. And after awhile, she leaned her head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around her, making sure she’s comfortable. _ Screw stiff necks! _ She thought. She’d risk it all for him.

  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4 - Ezekiel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! So here is Chapter 4, and as promised, the mysteriousness starts. This is my longest chapter yet, and I hope you guys will enjoy it!
> 
> As always, don't be afraid to tell me what you think about this. I'd love to hear from you.
> 
> Cheers!

When they finally arrived at the house they were going to stay in in Roirkshire Hills, it was already three in the morning. Every one of Dipper’s team was exhausted and cranky from the long trip. And as predicted, Pacifica was suffering from a bad case of a stiff neck that stopped her from moving her head in any direction. But it was worth it. All the six-hour trip from Charlottetown went undisturbed, giving her as much time as she wanted to talk with Dipper and snuggle on his shoulder and bury her face on him. Well, almost, as Janette tried to take Dipper’s attention even from across the aisle, often casting shots of hateful leer at her. Pacifica was satisfied to think that she had won the round and she rubbed it all over the emo girl’s face. At one point, even, while she was having a shallow sleep, Dipper pulled his jacket over her as the temperature suddenly changed. That  was another memory she  was keeping forever, locked away in a tiny box in her head, because at that moment, she felt like everything was back to normal as if the past never happened.

The moment they entered the house, they dropped their things in the living room and headed straight to find their own rooms. There were four and Pacifica took the one in the far end to the left. She dropped onto her bed and soaked up all the coolness it had, falling asleep immediately. It was already early in the afternoon when she finally woke up, her whole body was sore, and it felt like her bones were made of lead. She struggled to stand, her knees were wobbly and her muscles were shaking as if it was the first time she used them, though her stiff neck was gone.  _ This bed is magic! _

It was only now that she was able to appreciate the room she had chosen. It must have been pure luck for her to claim it before anyone else did. It was beautifully cozy and she swore that she could stay in that room forever as long as she had tons of books to read and a magical refrigerator that never runs out of food.

The sun streamed down from all the four large windows of her room, lighting up every inch with perfect brightness, specks of dust glowing as they passed the beams like dancing pixies. She took off her shoes and walked around the room barefooted. The smooth grain of the maple floorboards sent a snug feeling up her toes pulling out all her stress, leaving nothing but a fuzzy feeling inside her chest, lightening her up. She walked up to one of the windows beside her bed and she saw the wide, yard that stretches up to the tree lines, bordered by a stream, she even saw a couple of squirrels scurrying across the grass. In the middle of the yard was a sugar maple tree with a swing hanging on one of the low branches. Without any competition, the tree grew large with wide limbs fanning out in all directions, its leaves having started to change its color, with deep red crowding the bottom, slowly lightening up to yellow and eventually green at the top. There  was already a sea of fallen leaves surrounding it and more  were  still falling like a slow shower of bronze snow. She will be the first one to try the swing under that tree, and possibly dance around it like an idiot afterward. But she didn’t care. It  would be just like when she was young, and she would  get  to re-live it all over again.

Feeling the energy filling her to the brim she rushed to the door, but when she opened it she saw Dipper standing in front of her room, his hand in a fist and was about to knock. “Hey, Ciphy.” He greeted with a smile as warm as the rays pouring from her windows. And to be called ‘Ciphy’ by him again? Can this afternoon get any better?

“Hey, Dip!” She chirped. “I was just about to go outside. Have you seen the yard! It looks amazing!”

“It is, isn’t it? I’ve been staring at it since I woke up. Just like Gravity Falls, huh?”

Pacifica nodded, staring out the window again, smiling stupidly. She can almost hear it calling her.  But suddenly she just wanted to stand there with him for the rest of the day. 

“Listen, Pacifica. We’re having a meeting right now, and I’d like you to join us.”

“But, I’m not part of your team.” She said, sounding dry as she remembered Janette saying that as if she was not there to hear it sometime during their trip. It irritated her, but she held herself only closer to not lose control. She won’t ruin things for Dipper.

“Don’t listen to Janette.” He said, placing a hand on her shoulder and it quickly pulled her away from her murderous thoughts. “She’s just like that. Plus you’re with me so that officially means you’re on my team, right?”

She nodded, deciding that the tree and the swing could wait. She’s here now and that means she’s obligated to do what is required of her. Plus, it's Dipper! How could she say no?

The living room was even better than she remembered from last night, just like her room, it was lit with natural light pooling from the wide windows, though not as warm. It was cooler there than in her room but still gave the same homely feeling. A large rug that looks like Aladdin's flying carpet was set directly in front of the stone fireplace. Two sofas were fixed on the sides; one directly facing the fireplace, the other on the bottom part facing the TV on the opposite side. A large, square coffee table with a glass surface sat in the middle, while a side table was perched between the two sofas carrying a night stand. A chandelier hung directly above the living room, which, Pacifica guessed would look lovely when the night comes.

Felix was sitting on the sofa opposite the TV, legs stretched on the coffee table, while Janette stood by the fireplace, admiring the knickknacks that decorated the shelf.

“Alright!” Dipper clapped his hands together, excitement radiating from his face. “So, we’re finally here in Roirkshire Hills.”

“Alright!” Felix hooted with a high tone.

“Yes, thanks, Felix.” He chuckled. “Now we’ve been planning this for a very long time, and we only have five months to do what we have to do and that is to find the source of the anomalies.”

He pulled out a map showing the town of Roirkshire Hills surrounded by large red dots in a perfect circle. Pacifica tried to focus on what he was saying but her mind was still dreaming of her swinging under the tree. “These dots represent the places where the anomalies have been detected, and for five years the dots have stayed at the same place. We are here to find out why.”

Dipper went on to discuss the theories they have made based on every available data that they have -- from wormholes to alien technology. Pacifica knew exactly what Dipper was doing, and what he was studying, she understood his passion perfectly, but hearing him talk about it with all the energy that he had, he sounded like something that the ‘Aliens’ guy from the internet with a whacky hair in the used-to-be-about-history channel would say. She couldn’t help but feel bored. She’s not interested in finding alien ships or supernatural portals to another dimension. She has had enough of it when that triangle guy decided to be a god in Gravity Falls. But then again, her promise. She basically forced him to take her with them on this project. But what does she have to offer? She doesn’t even know half the things they’re talking about. Something nagged at the back of her head and she forced the idea of her just being the one who would cook and clean the house out of her mind. Maybe if she didn’t try to involve herself more on this project, that is where she is going to end up. More points for Janette then.

“Pacifica,” Dipper called her attention. “Did you hear what I said?” There was the sound of authority in his voice, but it was calm.

She looked at him, confused, Felix grinning stupidly at her, and Janette with her constant smug face. “Sorry, I was…” What was Dipper saying? She couldn’t remember. Her mind was miles away from the meeting and she simply wasn’t listening anymore.

“You will make dinner tonight, okay?” Dipper repeated. “I’ll do the dishes, while Felix and Janette tidy things up. Then it will rotate tomorrow.”

Pacifica blushed, but she tried to hide it with her hair. “Uh, yeah. I… I can do that.”

“You better,” Janette said sharply. “We don’t need princesses in this house.”

With that, all the good feeling she had vanished into thin air.  _ Seriously, this girl is getting easier to hate every day _ . Pacifica leered at the emo girl with eyes as cold as ice. But she glared back at her with burning hate. What the hell is her problem? Pacifica was about to open her mouth to spit something terrible at her. When Dipper cut in.

“Janette, she’s not a pain, okay?” Her eyes suddenly went cold as she looked at him, possibly hurt because he sided with her. “I said it before and I will say it again, I vouch for Pacifica. She will not be a drag, she will not be a waste of resources. She can help us. I wouldn’t risk this project. You know that. So I’d appreciate it if you  _ two _ would stop staring like you’re about to eat each other.” And with that Janette turned her head from him, mumbling something -- possibly hexes and curses -- under her breath.

“Well. That’s that.” He breathed heavily. “Enjoy the rest of the afternoon.” Dipper finally dismissed them and everyone went their separate ways.

Pacifica now took the opportunity to take a walk outside, though not as enthusiastic as she was before thanks to a certain someone.

In reality, the tree was further away from the house than she’d originally thought. But with every step she took, the better she felt as the grass tickled her between her toes, the gentle wind welcoming her and the sun caressing her face. Pretty soon she was smiling again. When she finally reached the swing she took a quick look around to see if anyone was following her when she was confident that they were all in the house, she ran around the base of the tree as the leaves continually fell over her like a shower. She giggled like a child as she crushed the dried leaves under her foot. She even grabbed a handful of it and tossed it over her head, twirling with pure childish joy.

_ Act like a complete idiot. Check! _

The next morning, Pacifica took the effort to wake up early. It was six o’clock on her phone, though she wasn’t sure if she’s got the right time being on the other side of the continent and all. When she got up, she went to the bathroom and when she looked in the mirror, she was disgusted to see she was still wearing what she wore two days ago. But not for long. When she was finally done freshening up, she laced up her shoes and headed outside, only to see Dipper on the sofa with his laptop on his lap, and that GPS-thingy was hooked up to it. 

“Good morning, Dip.” She greeted him with a tap on the shoulder. 

Dipper turned to her, smiling, though he looked rather irritated. “Good morning, Pacifica.” He grumbled like an ogre. “I was just trying to get the damn thing to work,”

“But what exactly is  _ that _ ?”  She pointed her slender finger at it.

“Well, it’s called a Particle Discharge Scanner. PDS for short.”

“And what does it do?” For once she was actually curious about it. 

“Anomalies like wormholes give out particles like photons, or antimatter or even radiation. Think of it as the smoke coming out of a car’s exhaust pipes. Now these leftover particles are scattered very thinly and they do not have any effect on us or their surroundings. But this device is able to pick up the said particles and points us in the right direction. Like a GPS.”

“Huh, so I was right about it being some sort of a GPS.” She giggled to herself, feeling smarter by the minute. 

“Technically, it is.” Dipper nodded, his smile was now something calmer, and less irritated.

The day had just started and she already had two achievements made: learn something scientific and making Dipper smile. Something tells her that today is going to be a good day.

She pats him on the shoulder one last time before she told him she was going to town. She finally left the house with an extra spring in her step, excited for what else this day would bring.

As it turns out, their house was sitting a good 10 minutes away from the town center via a bus ride that passes by regularly. Pacifica thought that it would take at least 30 minutes walk to get to the square, that is if you don’t get lost. She’s going to have to go and see for herself if her calculations are correct. Though they were not exactly out in the middle of nowhere, they had neighbors all around them which gave Pacifica a sense of comfort.

When she got to the middle of the town, Pacifica took a look around, taking most of her time walking and trying to memorize the place, building a mental map on her head. She later found out that Roirkshire Hills has two specific areas which she dubbed as the Outer Square and the Inner Square, mostly because the town had the shape of an equally sided quadrilateral. See? Smarter already. Roirkshire Hills was just a fraction larger than Gravity Falls and it sits on a large flat land with hills of varying sizes dotting all around it.

She took a brisk walk around the Outer Square where she noted the exact locations of the hospital, the fire department, and the police station. She noticed that the Outer Square was so quiet she swore she saw a tumbleweed roll across the street.  _ There are no tumbleweeds in Canada, idiot!  _  The town hall was also located in the Outer Square just beside the high school, which was the only place that seemed to have actual people in it.

She then headed to the Inner Square where she found most of the town people, greeting her happily with a ‘good morning’, charmed to see a new face in town. Pacifica was more than happy to spend a couple of minutes to talk with them, asking where the supermarket is, the best place that serves food, and who’s who in the town. The townsfolk were thrilled to answer her questions as most tourists aren’t really interested in that stuff. With this, she was able to pinpoint Monn’s Diner as the best place to get breakfast with their ‘supposed-to-be-world-famous’ waffles, as some man proudly declared, and that the best place to get her clothes was at Fabulouza.

“It may have a stinking name like a truckload of chicken poo, but it’s got all you’ll need.” Said a pregnant woman whom she found sitting in the park.

That settles it then. First Monn’s Diner for breakfast then the clothes store with a name she refuses to say.

Monn’s Diner wasn’t in the Inner Square, though. It was found in a patch of trees outside the Outer Square, however, it wasn’t a pretty long walk from the park. She found it packed full of people but she was able to find a seat at the bar table. She ordered for the most highly recommended waffles with bacon and eggs and a steaming hot coffee, and the locals didn’t lie. The waffles were definitely out of this world and if this thing was causing the anomalies that Dipper and his team were looking for, she wouldn’t be surprised. It was crusty on the outside, but it had an incredibly soft center that immediately melts the moment it touched the tongue into a perfect blend of vanilla and caramel. She moaned in satisfaction as she had her first bite, before devouring the whole meal in the blink of an eye. Okay, well not really, but it was really quick for Pacifica’s standards.  

After her delightful breakfast, she went to the store with the horrible name and it  _ did _ have all the things she wanted from high heeled shoes to shirts that she would parade all across Beverly Hills. Though trying not to get carried away, she bought only the things that she would really need during their stay in Roirkshire Hills. She tried to get away from the store as quickly as she could because there was a particular pair of platform shoes that has been calling her name. She will not give away to temptation. Not yet.

She was all set to head home, with a smoothie on her hand. She was waiting for the next bus that would drop her by their house, but then she thought about Dipper, and Felix and, surprisingly, even Janette, and so she went back into town, grabbing some few groceries and some Chinese takeouts for the four of them.

It was a quarter past noon when she finally got home. The sun why high in the sky but it didn’t burn as hot as it did in California. She was carrying a lot when Felix saw her and immediately helped her out.

“Thanks,” She chirped.

“No problem, little dudette.” He smirked, bring in the groceries and the takeout food.

“Wow, someone went shopping.” Dipper quipped, nudging her.

“Well, I was having a smoothie, and I kinda thought about you guys.” There was that genuine smile on her again as she tried to see Dipper from the corner of her eye.

“Thank you very much, Ciphy.” He squeezed her hand before he rummaged for the Chinese food.

Pacifica noticed that the living room was now a mess with maps and graphs hanging from the walls, laptops and weird devices lying on the floor and dirty plates and mugs on the coffee table. She looked at the three of them choosing which takeout box is theirs, and that’s when she realized that they were starving. She shook her head as she dropped her clothes in her room, but she was happy that she was there to help them out. 

Maybe Dipper was right?

After their quick lunch, Dipper, Felix, and Janette went back to work, but not without thanking her, even Janette the emo girl, to her surprise. It’s nice to be appreciated, and for once they forgot their childish feud.

Pacifica then took a long, warm bath, happy to scrub away the filth off her. By the time she was done, she left the bathroom smelling like sweet papaya and strawberries.  She got dressed in normal house clothes, proudly wearing her newly bought white shirt, knee length shorts that wrapped her legs closely, and fuzzy slippers. Tying her hair into a ponytail, she quickly did the dishes, stacked their groceries in the cupboards and refrigerator and making sure that the kitchen and the dining room was clean.

_ Damn! I feel like a housewife! _ She shuddered at the thought and quickly retreated to the living room where they were working, surrounding herself with their energetic and youthful auras just to make make the feeling of being a mom raising three young adults go away.

She tried to help out as much as she could like encoding some poorly written notes, making lines on a map and drawing carefully placed dotted lines on the said map. She felt like one of them, like whatever it is they were doing, and quite frankly she enjoyed it. But for the rest of the afternoon, when she had nothing else left to do, she tried reading some of Stanford Pines’ (the smart Stanford, not his con-man twin Stanford, who turns out to be Stanley) study on anomalies, or as he would put it: statistical improbabilities. It was amazingly comprehensible. 

Sure there were words that she didn’t exactly understand without Dipper explaining it to her, but for the most part, it was educational.

But soon her eyes started hurting, and when she looked up, the sun was already setting. She took a look around and Janette was already watching some TV, while Dipper tinkered with the PDS. and Felix listened to his music.

It was awfully dull to look at them like that as if they had each sold their souls a very long time ago. There was no action, no thrill. Pacifica didn’t want them to just read and map and plot a graph for five months. They need to pump their hearts, even just for a little bit.

“Uhm, guys.” She said, an idea hatching in her head. The three looked at her as if they were sensing a ghost. “So today’s pretty much the start of your research, right?”

“Right you are, miss dudette!” Felix held up two fingers at her.  _ Seriously, that guy is like high all the time. _

“I was thinking, maybe we could celebrate a bit?”

“Celebrate?” Janette repeated, raising a brow, but Pacifica could tell that she got her interest.

“Yeah. I bought some hot dogs and some buns, plus a six-pack beer. Maybe we could build a fire outside and, you know… chill.”

Felix’s eyes brightened up. “Oh, that sounds awesome!”

“Sure,” Janette shrugged, surprising Pacifica. “I think that’s a good idea.”

But no one moved just yet. Everyone has their eyes on Dipper. He’s been quiet and Pacifica thought that it was a bad idea to say that she bought them a can of beer each. Maybe she messed it up? They weren’t there to chill or party. They were there to --

“What are you guys looking at me, for?” He chuckled gladly. “I’ll build the fire.”

Dipper stood up and so did everyone else. Felix helped him outside while Pacifica and Janette skinned the hotdogs and cut open the buns. Just like that, everyone was alive again.

Another achievement? Pacifica wanted to see it through first before she counted her good deeds.

It didn’t take long before the sun was gone and the blue sky was replaced with blackness and tiny stars twinkling in rejoice of finally being seen again. A fire was now roaring behind the house, and Felix had placed four logs around it for them to sit on. Pacifica brought out the plates of hot dogs and buns and placed it on a tablecloth on the ground while Janette brought the condiments as well as a bar of chocolate and a bag of marshmallows and graham crackers under her arms. Dipper, on the other hand, was sharpening some sticks that they could use to roast the hot dogs.

“Okay!” Dipper said happily, blowing the shavings off from the stick that he just sharpened. “We are ready to go!”

Everyone cheered happily as they took their seat before the fire, Dipper and Pacifica on one side and Felix and Janette across them. Janette grabbed the plate of hot dogs, picked one up before passing it around. They stabbed it on their sticks before they held it hanging above the fire. As the sausages cooked, the air started to fill with its delicious smoky aroma. They chatted with each other lively like old friends in a reunion, even Pacifica, and Janette. They teased and they joked, they told stories about their life.

Pacifica was able to get a deeper connection with them as she asked them how they ended up being a paranormal investigator and being stuck with Dipper. As it turns out, Felix ran away from New York and lived in California with his girlfriend. But despite his stoner demeanor, Felix was a hard worker. He was able to get a scholarship to the same University as Dipper in engineering technology through sheer perseverance. He was not the kind who was naturally smart but he’s not one to give up easily either. But after all that, his girlfriend left her for another man leaving him alone and broken. Dipper found him one day, and they were inseparable.

Janette, on the other hand, came from a family of doctors, surgeons and lawyers and each member of her family had a high-paying job. She was supposed to be a lawyer herself when she just decided that it wasn’t for her. She wanted to be an archeologist, but her parents didn’t like that and they disowned her.

That’s when she understood, both of them have qualities that Dipper saw and knew that one day could come in handy like Felix’s perseverance or Janette’s headstrongness. Those are qualities that he needed to push on with this project, the qualities that he needed to see it through. But then what was Pacifica’s? What’s her great contribution?

Pretty soon they all got stuffed with hot dogs and Pacifica now brought out the cold cans of beer, the perfect way to end the night. 

“Tell me again why we each only get to have one?” Janette asked as she popped open hers.

“I didn’t want you guys to get drunk. You need your brain cells for tomorrow.” Pacifica explained.

Felix held out his beer can, “Here’s to Pacifica  then.” He chuckled but everyone followed suit. “ the provider of beers and hot dogs! Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

Pacifica laughed, shaking her head and feeling embarrassed. She took a sip of her cold, golden drink. It was surprisingly smooth with a satisfying end, far better than the one’s she’s had in California. And by the way the team drank theirs, she could safely assume that she was not the only one.

“Okay,” Dipper said. “I think she deserves a real one.” He raised his beer again. “You may not know it, but if you weren’t here we would end this night like dorks.” Felix and Janette nodded, mumbling on how much they agreed with what he had said.

Dipper looked her in the eye and they instantly locked. She felt her cheeks burn but not because of the alcohol. Slowly her mouth folded into her rare smile that Dipper was the only one who can see. “Thank you for taking care of us.” He continued. “For reminding us that it is good to have fun every once in awhile. To Pacifica.”

“PACIFICA!” They said louder, raising their higher over the fire.

“Really guys this isn’t--”

Felix threw his can into the air before he fell on his back. His eyes were wide, and his face looked drained of blood. He tried to speak but no words came out, only babbles as he tries to crawl away from them.

“What is it?” Janette scolded.

“L-l-look…” he pointed.

Everyone looked, Janette shrieked. They immediately dropped what they were drinking and went as far away from it as they can, with Pacifica clutching tightly on Dipper’s shirt while he protected her with his arm.

Between the logs where Pacifica and Janette sat stood…  _ something _ . A disembodied shadow on the grass, its frame dancing eerily inside the pool of light of the bonfire. A chill ran up Dipper’s spine as he recalled the shadows permanently painted on the streets of Hiroshima; the shadows of those people witnessing the final moments of their lives before they were harshly snuffed out.

Every one of them was frozen like stone, not wanting to move a muscle. There was a haunting bitterness in the air as they felt the shadow gazing on each of them with its unseen eyes.

The shadow stretched out its hand into the flame and slowly sat where Pacifica sat. 

“W-what are you?” Dipper asked, trying to muster up whatever courage he had.

The shadow seemed to have turned its head in his direction, though it was hard to tell. “What… am… I?” Its voice was a hollow whisper, echoing inside their ears.

“You don’t know what you are?” He asked again, trying to contain the fear in his voice, though not very successfully.

“I… do not… know.” It looked at its hands.

“Are you a ghost?”

“Dipper! Stop encouraging it!” Janette argued with a sharp whisper. “You’ll make it worse!”

But he didn’t listen to her. He’s encountered ghosts in Gravity Falls a long time ago, heck, he even tried to banish one from the Northwest Manor (though, it was Pacifica who successfully did that), but that was a long time ago. He had forgotten all about them, but maybe, if he would base it on Grunckle Ford’s journal, the shadow would be a category one, meaning it wouldn’t harm them. If that will be the case, then it is something he can easily deal with.

But the shadow replied, “A ghost? No… not a ghost. Almost...”

“What are you then?” Dipper pressed.

“I… cannot remember.”

He lowered his arms covering Pacifica and tried to approach it carefully.

“What do you want?”

The shadow seemed to breathe, welcoming the approaching Dipper. “Most of the people in this town, they have a unique… scent. Yours are different. Younger. Livelier. Full of questions… You seek something. But you do not know what. You are looking for a path, but do not know where. We search for something… similar. Perhaps we could… work together?”

“What is your name?” Dipper asked, still inching closer, though he was becoming more confident.

“My name? My name… is Ezekiel.”

“What are you looking for?”

“I… cannot remember.”

“How can we work together if you don’t know what you are looking for?”

Ezekiel hunched over and carvings formed on the log where Janette sat until it filled the whole face of the wood. 

“What is that?” Janette asked as if Dipper’s confidence had rubbed off everyone.

Felix and Janette moved closer, their fear overwhelmed by their fascination, but Pacifica remained glued to where she was, a good distance from the shadow. Never in her life did she ever thought that she would encounter ghosts. But she did back home at Gravity Falls. By then she never thought that she would encounter one again. What are the odds? The fear that gripped her held her tight, and her limbs have now grown cold, and her voice seemed frozen. She tried to call for Dipper to come and get her but she couldn’t as if something had her voice.

It happened in the flash before there were even enough time to call for help. All of a sudden she was down on the grass, her head spinning and her ears ringing. The fear she had felt had not vanished, but rather multiplied a thousand times as she felt a hand grabbed her arm. She tried desperately to free herself but there was nothing to free herself from until she was dragged across the grass.

She let out a loud scream, and Dipper turned his head to see her sliding violently across the yard. Even the Ezekiel the shadow stood in surprise before vanishing completely.

_ It was a trap! _ Dipper thought furiously before he raced after Pacifica. Adrenaline fueling his muscles, he ran so fast until his legs started to burn, and even until then he pushed himself faster.

As if sensing his presence, Pacifica was freed by whatever had her, but it wasn’t over. She tried to crawl away but she was thrown to the maple tree, her head hitting hard and she felt something warm trickle from her head and down her back. But still, she tried to get away. There was a screech like a dying boar and a howl like an injured dog. The tree shook, rustling the leaves above. She closed her eyes and sealed her ears with her hands like a child. It was all she could do. The agonizing fear had reduced her into something that could not think or move. She was reduced to her basic instincts of survival -- to cower and hope that the nightmare soon ends. But it was longer than she would expect.

She felt something warm wrap her on the back and on the chest. But she didn’t dare look up. But unlike the thing that grabbed her, this one, though rough, was comforting, lifting her mind somewhat from the horror. It embraced her more closely until she felt it’s chest on her head. She felt the rushed heartbeat and his warm skin, the beads of sweat and the frantic breathing, she heard him whisper, “It’s okay, Ciphy. I got you. I’m here. I’m always here.”

The noise still raged on like beasts arguing over their meal. The tree continually shook, and the ground occasionally made heavy thuds. But eventually it all faded away, and the world around Pacifica vanished, swirling and emptying into the abyss.

 


	5. Chapter 5 - Nightmares and Headaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, first thing first. Question: Have you watched the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them? No? Well what are you doing? Get out of here and watch it right now! And for all of you guys who have seen it, I'm guessing that you would all agree that it was amazing, right? I loved it, and I'm not a big Harry Potter fan, so that's something, right? But seriously, it's really fun, sweet, with a hint of dark. It's nice to see how magical communities work outside of England. 
> 
> Okey-dokey then, thank you guys for the Kudos and, most importantly, for reading my stuff. This is seriously the longest I have written, so I hope you stay tuned. I have a lot planned for this.
> 
> PS. Sorry, I had a problem with the line breaks. But it's okay now. :)

_It felt as if she was floating in a large container with no walls, ceilings, or floors, but her feet were touching something. It was unnaturally hollow and it felt as if it was eating her up. There was something in the place that was making her feel dizzy, like something in her chest was being reeled out and it’s slowly turning her into a part of that void._

_“Help!” She called out, but her voice was just swallowed by the darkness that she couldn’t even hear it herself. “HELP!!” She screamed desperately, but it did nothing._

_She could feel her heartbeat inside her chest and she took relief in the fact that she was still alive, but it was hollow as if it were pumping out air instead of blood. She could feel her heart struggling as was her breathing. She was suffocating._

_Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar silhouette playing at the edge of her vision. She quickly turned to look, but there was nothing there. Soon, she started to feel as if she was floating and whatever her feet was touching had now vanished leaving her suspended. She tried to move, but she couldn’t move her limbs, and only when she looked down did she realize that she was not exactly where she’s supposed to be. Below her was…_ **_her_ ** _, but she was no longer alone. Her body below was with someone… or rather something else. It stood with its slender frame hidden in a thick silhouette, its hand extended to her face. She could hear it whispering but she couldn’t understand what it was saying, everything was a muffled air escaping its mouth. Her other self tried to speak, and the thing listened. Together they conversed as if they were old friends. Eventually, she felt calmer, and the fear that had been gnawing at her slowly vanished._

_“I am sorry.” The shadow whispered in her head. “I thought we were alone.”_

* * *

 

The sound of the wind chimes were soothing, as the gentle breeze entered her room, caressing her face with its cool fingers. Her eyes fluttered as they struggled to open, and felt the dream melt into the oblivion of her subconscious. She immediately forgot about the dream that she had, leaving a tiny hole of unclarity, except for the shadow’s whispered apology.

 _Ezekiel._ She recalled his name, but she wasn’t sure where she had heard it before.

There was a striking pain in her left wrist and she saw dark bruises around it, forming what seemed like long, slender… _fingers_? Suddenly, the tides of reality crashed into her and her emotions raced back: The bonfire, the shadow man, the creature that grabbed her. It struck her hard knowing that those were memories and not part of a nightmare.

She quickly got up, from her bed, but blood rushed to her brain too quickly and the room around her dimmed. Her hand touched the back of her head feeling a large, swelling bump causing her a dull pain as if a bullet was slowly being pressed into her skull. The pain was disorientating and she struggled to keep still even though she was still sitting on her bed.

“What are you doing?” A woman groaned, standing in her doorway.

Pacifica looked to see Janette carrying a plate of ham and cheese sandwich and a glass of lemonade.

“What’s going on?” Pacifica moaned. Everything felt as if they were in slow motion.

“The doctor said you need to stay in bed,” Janette explained as if it were very obvious, placing Pacifica’s food on the night stand. “You need to eat. You need to have something in your guts” Somehow, her voice was now gentle and less condescending.

Pacifica’s gaze slowly went down to her lap as she was forced to watch the memories in her head swirl in a terrifying tornado. Each moment was frozen like a picture, passing before her eyes in a flash but leaving a horrible, lingering feeling in her chest. Her memories re-lived her fear that night, branding it into her brain so she wouldn’t forget.

Janette watched her, and for the first time, she pitied her. She didn’t like Pacifica. She thinks that she’s a snooty brat with her flowing blonde hair and _perfect skin_. She was like the stereotypical rich kid who’s after the cool boy in high school or something similar to that. But what happened to Pacifica was traumatizing, and she admitted that if it were her in her position that night, she wouldn’t dare wake up anymore.

“Hey,” She sat awkwardly at the edge of the bed, placing her hand on Pacifica’s back. “It’s over now.” It didn’t sound as comforting as she wanted, but it was the best heartwarming words she could say to her.

Pacifica looked at her, tears welling in her eyes but she didn’t let them spill. She nodded, trying to smile at her, thanking her internally.

Janette left the room so the poor girl could rest. And when she was gone, Pacifica took a bite of the sandwich but it was bland, and so she placed it back on the plate, not sure if it was her tongue or Janette’s cooking. She chuckled at the idea of the emo girl cooking. She does not belong in the kitchen, in that Pacifica was sure.

And with that small thought, she amused herself until she slowly drifted back to sleep.

* * *

 

It was already dark when she woke up again, her dizziness was gone but her body felt like gravity had been increased by a hundred. She dragged herself out of bed, her feet wobbling under her as she walked out of her room sluggishly. She felt like a zombie. The sleep she had didn’t help her at all. In fact, it made things worse.

When she reached the living room, she found that it was already deserted and quiet except for the smooth songs of the crickets outside. She switched on the wall lights just so she can navigate through.

“What time is it?” She asked herself. When she woke up it felt like the sun had just recently set. A swelling mass of confusion was brewing in her head. Where is everyone else? Did the go somewhere and left her behind?

And as if to answer her question, the grandfather clock that sat in the corner near the kitchen tolled one o’clock. She immediately felt sick in her stomach. “I was asleep the whole day?” She inferred, feeling nauseated. She had never slept that long before, probably because of her busy lifestyle and it did a good job making her feel unproductive.

Scratching her head irritably, she went to look for food in the fridge, just anything she could take a bite onto. The marshmallows and the chocolates that they were supposed to roast the other night were still there, untouched; there were some beans on a bowl, a couple of yogurt packs, some packed puddings and energy drinks, which, Pacifica assumed, belonged to Felix. But there was something else sitting in plain sight: a sandwich with a small bite on the corner covered in a tight cling wrap with a post-it note saying ‘ _I spent good five minutes making this. Eat it!’_

Who knew Janette had a sense of humor?

It was only now that she realized that it was a pastrami sandwich, with caramelized onions, swiss cheese, and mustard, and the only reason why it didn’t have any taste the first time she took a bite of it was because she only bit on the corner, taking only the crust and nothing more.

“Janette made this?” She asked herself in surprise. Not that she doubted her cooking skills, well, partly, but also that she would go and make her something like that at all.  All this time she thought that Janette hated her guts. Quite possibly, she just had a newfound respect for that em- _no_ , girl.

After gorging down the sandwich and draining a glass of pineapple juice in one go, Pacifica immediately felt somewhat better, as if her stomach was causing seventy percent of her bodily pains. Then she realized that she hadn’t eaten anything since the hot dogs from the other night. With her belly full and satisfied, she thought that it would be nice to cool herself down a bit and went out the house.

It was freezing outside, so unlike California. She felt her teeth chatter in the wind and her muscles started to shiver. But she let it because it calmed her down as she sat on the stairs of the porch, taking her mind away from the dreadful memories that had been haunting her, though a part of her felt that it was a bad idea with the risk of being a taken again.

Looking up into the sky she saw the stars unlike she had ever before. There were so many that it overwhelmed her. She had never seen so many and it was breathtaking. The Milky Way hung directly above her, like a giant band of light, billions of stars swimming in its ghost-like clouds painting it with soft purple, and blue. How could something so beautiful exist? She felt herself collapse on the support beam as she stared in its splendor, her eyes catching every light present in the perfect black canvas of the sky, reflecting it, creating a universe of her own. She felt so small and insignificant compared to the countless worlds scattered above her.

Then she remembered her parents. She didn’t think it was possible but she did miss them, even after all they did to her. Maybe if she could bring them to Canada and just let them see all of this it would make them better. But that was just a fantasy. She knew her parents very well, and there is nothing in this world that could change them or the name Northwest. It sickened her to carry that name wherever she went; all of them living im greed, doing whatever they could to for fame and recognition, down to her ancestors. What if that is what she was destined to be? To be just another Northwest fattening her purse with money like a Thanksgiving turkey? She reminisced about the time she banished a ghost in their mansion in Gravity Fall. Her father stopped her from breaking the curse because it would ruin the family name. _Our family name is broken_ . She remembered herself saying.   _And I’m going to fix it_! It echoed in her head again and again, which asks the question, have she fixed it?

After the hellish events that were courtesy of Bill Cipher in Gravity Falls, The Northwest had lost everything. Her parents were broke and succumbed to depression leaving Pacifica to do what she had to. She studied hard during her high school years just to get a scholarship at Harvard Business School, while she tried to keep them afloat somehow. After four agonizing years, she was finally able to get the scholarship. But, as luck would have it, she wasn’t able to finish college. She dropped out after three years as a desperate attempt to revive her family’s company in California. She shuddered at the idea of her sacrifices: all those sleepless nights, the tedious meetings, the absurd deals she had to make. She was so stressed that her hair started falling off, just so she didn’t have to see her parents like grounded children, moping in their stagnation. And after all that, they were willing to sell her off just so they can expand the company. It was only now that she realized how much her parents doesn’t care about her. She wished to the stars above, to those that cared enough to listen to her, that she could turn back time and undo all the things she did for them. She wished that they could be a normal family where she has the chance to look at the stars with them. She wished that they would love her as any parents love their daughter.

“Pacifica?” a groggy voice called out from behind her, but it was tinted with concern. “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing!”

She looked back at him, not actually surprised to see Dipper with a blanket wrapped around him. If any, she felt a bit peevish for having her meditation obliterated. But it’s Dipper, so she tried to push it away, greeting him with an exaggerated blink.

Dipper sat beside her, wrapping the blanket around her shoulder and making sure that she’s tucked in nicely making her feel toasty.

He was like a magnet to her and she couldn’t resist leaning her head on his shoulder. And for a long time, neither of them spoke, as they both gazed into the heavens. Slowly she felt her arm wrap around his and pushing her fingers into his hand, clasping it tightly like she never wanted to let go. He felt so warm and it radiated all over her body, filling her ears and cheeks with her precious blood. It was the first time in three years that she was able to touch his hand and it sent so many memories back to her. It was nostalgically intoxicating, as she remembered how they used to be; how happy they were with each other. She never wanted it to stop, but Dipper pulled his hand away from hers.

In an instant, it broke her heart as cold confusion started to replace the warm loving feeling inside her. _Where do you draw the line?_ She asked, all while trying to be quiet about it, controlling her emotions that are threatening to take over. Where exactly are they? They were too close to be just friends, and too far to be lovers. Then what are they? Feeling his magnetic charm vanish with his hand, Pacifica took her head off his shoulder. All she wanted was a chance, but she guessed that it would never happen.

With all the honesty of her heart, it irritated her. It was always her effort to make the first move -- to talk to him, tease him, lean on his shoulder, flutter her eyes --  She knew that he could read her messages, he wasn’t an idiot, and the six months that they spent with each other was enough time for him to take a guess of what she wanted.

She tried to look back -- the birthday pancakes, the clothes he lent and bought for her, the hot cocoa, the bus trip from Charlottetown. _What was all of that, Dipper?_ She screamed in her head. _Why are you playing with me?_ She just wanted to burst and blurt it all out to him.  

 _Is this because I left you? Are you trying to get back at me for that?_ She scolded him inside her mind. _I had no choice, Dipper! You know that!_ She clenched her fist tightly. _What do you want me to do MASON PINES!?_

Her nails dug under her palm as the heat of anger surged through her. It was unfair that she was being left in the dark, fed only with enough affection just to keep her hopes and fantasies alive. _At least give me a chance, Pines!_ She wanted to yell as frustration grew inside, burning her. _Just one damn chance!_

Pacifica stood from her seat, letting the blanket fall off her, the frozen air instantly clung to her skin. Without a word she headed back inside, leaving Dipper all alone. But just as she vanished on the other side of the door, she looked back to catch a glimpse of him looking at her.

But he wasn’t.

* * *

 

It was already late in the morning when he woke up, hair tossed wildly and scratching dumbly. Last night with Pacifica was just bad, and he chose not to think about it now. He knows her, when the time comes, she’ll step up. But for now, she just needs to understand.

Fortunately, Felix was already awake and he had already started brewing the morning coffee and was cooking something on the stove.

“G’morning dude!” He nodded at Dipper and Dipper nodded back. “ _Omelette au fromage_?”

“What?” Dipper asked before he realized what he meant. “Oh, sorry. Sure, bro. I’ll have one.”

“Oh yeah, another folded scrambled egg with cheese and veg and fancy name, coming right up.” He chuckled, flipping over the egg before serving it on a plate. “Not this one, though. Cause you know. This one’s mine.”

Dipper poured himself a cup of coffee, took a sip, and remembered why he hated that stuff. But there was no sense letting it go to waste. He leaned on the countertop next to his friend, watching the trees dancing in the wind outside, letting the savory scent of the egg caress his nose.

“So, how is she?” Felix asked, voice lower and more serious, a stark contrast to his normal, daily voice.

Dipper took another sip from his coffee, the way she left last night, he knew he broke her heart. It hurts him to think about it, but she needed to understand on her own. “Depressed.” He mumbled, then he realized that it wasn’t what Felix was asking.

“What happened to her was bad, bro.” Felix sighed taking pity on the girl. “We should really do something for her.”

“Yeah, we do.” Dipper patted his friend on the back as he plated the fresh omelet.

Grabbing it, Dipper took and ate it in the living room, flipping open his laptop. He looked at the coffee table where pictures were scattered -- the pictures of the carvings that Ezekiel the shadow left on the log. He stared at it quizzingly as he focused his attention from Pacifica back to their project.

The writings were unique, and not even Janette knows what it is. Dipper tried to decipher it but it was impossible given the amount of knowledge he has on alien writing. They simply didn’t know what it was or what it meant. Their only clue led to a dead end, and they were going to stay there if they don’t get help soon.

He opened a video call on his laptop to the only person whom he can turn to at the moment, the only one who knows more than what he does.

The call rang and he waited as he took a bite from his omelet and a sip of his coffee before the call connected.

“Hello?” The childish voice was all too familiar and Dipper realized it in an instant.

He looked at the screen and saw a little girl with large brown eyes, and light brown hair tied into a ponytail. The girl smiles in the realization of whom she was speaking to, revealing her missing teeth.

“Maggie?” Dipper asked, surprised. “What are you doing in Grunkle Ford’s house?”

“Hey, bro-bro!” The little girl chirped lovingly. “How’s Cadana? Is it cold there? Did you see any leprechauns?”

He smiled warmly at her. “It’s _Ca-_ na-da, Maggie. And no, there are no leprechauns here.”

“Aww…” Maggie moaned looking devastated as if her whole world depended on her big brother catching a leprechaun and giving it to her as a pet.

Dipper chuckled, happy to see his baby sister again. “How are you, Maggie?” She missed the little girl, even though she was annoying sometimes.

But Margaret Pines was an adorable kid, she had Mabel’s silliness, Dipper’s curiosity, Grunkle Stan’s feistiness and Grunkle Ford’s sharp wits in a smooth and perfect balance; she hated not knowing things and as soon as it starts to interests her she will go and do what she can to get an answer, even if it means smashing the radio with a hammer just to see if there were tiny people inside. In her best days, she could be really goofy around her family and friends -- she just thinks up the wackiest things to say and the weirdest things to do in the most adorable way possible, but she’s not one to be bullied. They were scared of her. No one in her school would dare to lay a hand on her for some unknown reason. She was always there to cheer up her older sibs when they’re down, and she always there to support them in her own tiny way. Never did Mabel and Dipper experiences a dull time with her, even when she was really small. She was like a pocket-sized sun that just brightens up everyone she meets. She was truly a bundle of joy, and Mabel and Dipper loved her very much.

“I’m doing good, Dipper!  I got three stars in class yesterday so mommy had to buy me ice cream. Then -- then Mabel baked me some brownies and we watched Finding Dory on the TV!” She giggled sweetly as she told her story with overflowing enthusiasm. “Now, Mabel took me here at Grunkle Ford’s house.” She took a look around, making sure the coast was clear before she leaned in closer to the cameravistead of the mic and whispered, “He peed his bed.”

Dipper couldn't help but laugh as he listened to his sister.

“Maggie, what are you doing here?” Mabel entered the room, arms on her hips, her long brown hair dangling gracefully behind her. “Who are you-- Dipper!” She ran to grab the tablet from her sister.

“Hey! I was talking to him.” Maggie groaned, and Mabel shared the video with her.

“How are you, bro-bro?” Mabel asked.

“I’m doing fine, Mabel. I think we just got our first clue. How’s Grunkle Ford?”

Mabel and Maggie looked at each other before they snickered loudly. “He peed his bed.” Mabel declared before laughing out loud.

“Who are you two kids talking to?” Grunkle Ford’s grumpy voice could be heard from the background, getting louder. “Stop telling people I peed on my bed. It’s apple juice!”

“We’re not!” Maggie shouted.

“Yeah, we’re _definitely_ not saying that to people.”

The girls laughed again. As Grunkle Ford walks into the room, though with obvious difficulties as his joints refuse to cooperate. “I’m old, kids. Not deaf. Well, at least not yet.” He said as Mabel held him for an assist.

“Look, Grunkle Ford! It’s Dipper.”

The old man adjusted his glasses before recognizing Dipper’s face from the screen. “Ah! Dipper. How’re you, my boy?”

“I’m doing great, Grunkle Ford.” He suddenly struck him that his great-uncle wasn’t as lively as he used too. Age has taken the most of him, and it pained him to think that… He shook the idea off, scolding himself like a child to never think about that again. “Actually, I need your help.” He admitted, rather embarrassed.

“What do you need, boy? I’m all ears!” He smiled, feeling proud of what Dipper had become.

“Okay, I’ll send the picture to you, right now.” He said as he gathered the files and dropped it in the chat box.

“Send the pictures?” Ford said, confused. “I’ll take days for it to get here!”

“No, Grunkle Ford. He meant using the internet, silly.” Mabel quipped.

Ford nodded at her niece, finally understanding. “Oh, right. I get it.”

“So, do you have it now?” Dipper asked, feeling anxious to hear about his grand-uncle’s thoughts.

It took a while before Grunkle Ford answered as he and Mabel argued on how to open the files he sent. Eventually, they were able to open it and Ford took a long while analyzing the patterns of the symbols.

Finally, he looked at Dipper and smiled. “It’s alien.” He said flatly.

“Yes, Grunkle Ford. We know that. But what does it mean?”

“Oh, well, that’s easy!” Said his great-uncle, smiling juvenilely. “I have no idea.”

His shoulders dropped, and he groaned out loud. He was supposed to be their ticket out of this, but it turns out that he was stuck as well. “But, how could you not know?” He whined.

“Hey kid,” Grunkle Ford waggled his finger at him. “If you’re assuming that I know what this means because I know understand the ones in Gravity Falls, doesn’t mean I can speak all alien language.” He scolded.

“Wow!” Maggie chimed in with pure fascination in her eyes. “There are aliens in Gravity Falls?”

Ford turned to the smallest Pines kid and stroked her hair. “There _was_ , pumpkin.”

“Cool!”

“Anyway, Dipper. Even if I can translate this, it would take months, even years! This is an entirely new language. Possibly from a different race.”

“I know,” dipper moaned in failure. “I’m sorry. I’m just so eager!”

“Don’t worry, bro-bro!” Mabel shoved her face next to her great-uncle. “It’s nothing you can’t handle.”

“Yeah, bro-bro!” Cheered Maggie, mimicking her sister.

Dipper gave them a weak smile as he slouched on the sofa. “I hope so. We don’t have enough time.”

“Kid, listen to me.” Grunkle Ford nodded. “Don’t stop working. Something will come up eventually; another piece of the puzzle, perhaps. But it will all come together when you least expect it. Don’t just sit on your ass--”

“Grunkle Ford! Words.” Mabel chastised.

“Oh, right, Maggie.”

“What’s ass?” Maggie looked up at them curiously, and Mabel growled at their great-uncle.

“Anyway, don’t just sit on your _bum_. Keep working. Keep yourself occupied. You’ll get through it.”

Dipper sighed, accepting his great-uncle’s advice. “You’re right, Grunkle Ford. Thanks”

“I’m always here, Kid. _We_ are always here.”

Dipper said his good-byes and promised that he will call again soon. He ended the call, but not before hearing Maggie say “So ass means butt!” giggling in the expansion of her vocabulary.

* * *

 

Pacifica slumped her head on the dining table. She still felt exhausted but she couldn’t sleep anymore. Felix sat beside her, offering her a cup of steaming coffee and a plate of omelet.

“You’re starving, dudette. Have a quick bite. I made it special.” He encouraged and Pacifica couldn’t help but smile.

She ate the egg and sipped on the coffee as she and Felix talked about random things. He was actually a good person to talk to as he finds most things to be interesting. Pacifica couldn’t relate, of course, but she found it a nice change to think about something else rather than her nightmares, her parents or even Dipper. Speaking of which…

_Dang it!_

She saw him talking with his family on his laptop, and he was quite engaged in their conversation. She saw how happy they were with each other and how his sisters and great-uncle support him on what he does amd she wished that her parents would be like that to her too.

 _So much for thinking about something else._ Pacifica sighed.

After breakfast, she washed the dishes and stayed in her room again, but this time, not to sleep, but to just sit by the window and stare out at the yard. She counted how many butterflies passed her by, she noted the rhythm of the wind chimes and the changing colors of the leaves of the trees. It was already noon when she went back to the living room to join them for lunch, and she did her best not to give any acknowledgement to Dipper.

After their short meal, Pacifica sat on the sofa and saw the pictures lying on the table with pieces of paper joining it as notes and possible… translations? She heard Dipper talk about it that morning with his great-uncle. _So that is what Ezekiel left._ It was both eerie and fascinating at the same time, real alien language before her very eyes.

She picked up one of the pictures and watched the details carefully. It was enigmatically beautiful; a combination of straight horizontal, vertical and diagonal lines, with dots and perfect circles, fixed together so that it would form a perfect square on the face of the log it was etched on, pretty much like a trippy QR code.

Suddenly, the symbols started moving around before her eyes, or at least it seemed like it. She can see a pattern in those symbols like when you look at a book and unfocus your eyes, simple forms and shapes start to appear. As she moved through each symbol, ideas echoed loudly in her mind slowly forming some sense. Cold sweat ran down from her forehead as she realized what the symbols were saying.

“I can read it.” She whispered, hands starting to shake. It felt surreal but at the same time natural, as if she just picked up a book and scanned through the pages.

For them to take pictures of it and try to decipher it must mean it’s important, and if she could understand it then they would need all the help they could get. “Guys! I can understand it!” She said breathing heavily as she was starting to panic. She kept her eyes on it, fearing that she will lose if she looks away.

Dipper was the first to rush to her, confused, as he tried to take a look at the picture too.

“Quick! I might lose it! Write it down!”

“But, ho--”

“JUST WRITE IT DOWN!!”

Dipper scrambled for the paper on the coffee table but there were no pens in sight. “A pen! I need a pen!”

Felix patted himself down trying to look for one but it was Janette who tossed Dipper a pencil he could use.

“Hurry!” Pacifica urged as she started to feel that she was losing it. It was as if she was trying to hold water in her hands. It was dripping away and it would soon be gone.

“Read,” Dipper commanded, pencil in hand and laser focused on the paper.

“ _When the stars die_ ,” Pacifica translated, feeling her head getting light. “ _And the heavens weep. When the ignorant cheers._ ” Blood started dripping from her nose, but she didn’t dare wipe it off. “ _Look to the south, for the sun’s setting orb._ ”

Her temples throbbed and her eyes rolled back. For the second time in three days, she fainted.

  



	6. Chapter 6 - A Broken Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I'm a bit late on uploading. But here's Chapter 6! 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading guys!

She was out for a good five minutes before she came to, her head felt like it’s swollen but was otherwise fine. She was starting to get tired of fainting. It’s making her look weak and she doesn’t like that at all. There must be something she could do to get through these things without fainting, but how? If only there was a way; she would gladly trade her… her soul?  _ No _ . Her hair?  _ Not in a million years _ ! Her Clive Christian No. 1?  _ Maybe _ ?  to whoever will grant her an immunity to fainting.

Sitting up from Dipper’s lap, she quickly took a look around, both Dipper and Felix gave her a disquieted look, while Janette seemed unimpressed as if she wanted for her to never wake up from her sleep again.

But there was something more to Janette’s dissatisfied look. She was aggrieved, and her face looked as if it was going to erupt, and she was doing a very poor job of hiding it.

Pacifica tried to look away, perhaps Janette not seeing her face would make her calmer or something close to that, but no, Just like Pacifica, she was holding back on a lot of things, and it’s beginning to break through her.

“What the hell was that?” Janette roared, startling the two men, but not Pacifica, as she saw it coming a mile away. “What the hell are you trying to prove?”

“What did I do?” Pacifica asked sincerely and confused. She seriously didn’t know what was going on. What was she doing before she fainted? The last thing she remembered was that she was looking at some pictures and then…

Her eyes shot to the coffee table, and it all flashed back to her. She  _ read _ that alien writing. She translated it!

“Don’t play dumb, Pacifica!” She spat, moving closer to her. “You seriously believe you can fool us, by pretending to read that thing? I have a Master’s Degree in Palaeography,” She took another intimidating step closer, like a lioness to its prey. “I was one of the people who deciphered the Sumerian Star Catalogue. And I couldn’t read that.” She pointed at the pictures on the coffee table. “I had my colleagues in Harvard and Cambridge take a look at that thing and they are having a hard time reading it. We are professionally trained to study these stuff and you will tell me that you can just read it out of the blue? We’re not imbeciles!”

She took a look around, and Dipper and Felix both share the same look of doubt. “So that’s what you’re mad about?” Pacifica raised her brow, trying hard to hide the grievance in her voice. “It’s not my fault you and your smart-ass friends can't understand it.” She then realized that she unintentionally hit Dipper with that remark as she overheard that he was trying to decipher it as well, but she shook it off.

“You’re quite dense, aren’t you?!” Janette shoved her face close to her and Pacifica could see the veins on her neck starting to pop out. “You think I don’t see it? Everything went south for you last night, didn’t it? And you saw this as an opportunity to impress Dipper!”

“You were watching us?” Dipper asked, disbelief clouding his voice.

“Someone’s got to keep an eye on her.” Janette scorned through gritted teeth, keeping her eyes on Pacifica.

“How dare you!” Pacifica glared back at her. “How low do you think I am!”

“You just can’t keep it in check, huh? You just can’t keep it in your pants! You’d go to such lengths - to such low - just so you can have him in between yo-”

“Shut it!” Pacifica snarled, face reddening with rage. She could feel it consuming her like fire, dimming the edge of her vision, but not because she was about to faint again, but because she just wanted to tear Janette’s throat off.

“Or what, princess? What could you possibly do? You are all the same. A liar! A cheat! You and your whole kin! You’d do anything to get what you want!  _ Northwest _ .”

It came so fast that Janette didn’t have time to react at all. It was an electric pain as the nerves in her cheek shot flares to her brain. It came so fast and hard that it almost knocked her off her feet if she hadn’t been able to catch the armrest of the sofa. It took her a second longer to analyze what happened, or that is what her brain would have her believe.  She knew exactly what happened and she just couldn’t accept it.

“Don’t you dare.” Pacifica snarled in a low voice, emphasizing each word. There was a prickly pain on Pacifica’s palm, but it felt satisfyingly good to shut that woman up. If this girl won’t respect her as Pacifica, then perhaps she will listen to a Northwest. She still hated her last name, but it felt so damn good to live up to a part of their reputation. “Yes! I did read that thing! And yes! I translated it the first time I looked at it. But I didn’t want that, okay! I’m not happy about it at all! I am regretting everything that happened in these past days! I wish I just stayed in California! So you can shut that blabbering hole on your face! If you don’t believe me, then fine! Burn the translation for all I care. Be stuck in here with nothing! But I am not trying to impress Dipper! I am way past that!” she gripped her by the arm and pulled her so their faces would meet. “I am experiencing a crap ton of things that I shouldn't be experiencing and it’s pressing down on me, Janette! You won’t even understand it if I try to describe it to you. All those g’damn nightmares, the constant headaches… Seriously! You will not understand. So get out of my face. Quit breathing down my neck, or I swear I will knock you on your ass!”

She shoved Janette off she dropped onto the floor harshly, but didn’t say anything anymore. All that rage in her eyes was now replaced with cold fear. 

Dipper and Felix only stared, confused and shocked at the same time. Neither of them expected things to go down like this, and they were just staying away from them as if watching wolves tear each other into pieces. 

“And don’t you ever say my family name again!” Pacifica spat before storming out the house, welcoming the cool afternoon air.

Humiliated, Janette stood from where she had fallen, pushed through the guys and locked herself in her room.

Felix looked at Dipper, and Dipper at Felix, mouths open and minds blank as they stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do. 

“Dude.” Felix broke the silence. “Living with women is terrifying.” He said while staring at the open door Pacifica had gone through.

* * *

Dipper quickly followed Pacifica outside while Felix tried to fix the mess in the living room. Things were getting out of hand, and Dipper was starting to think if it was the right thing to have brought Pacifica along. He was only trying to help, right? Or did he internally want something else? No! That is not logical by any means. He convinced himself that Pacifica will prove that she is capable of something, one way or another.

Well, she _ did _ do something that could be significant. But Janette was right, the writings that Ezekiel left was unreadable. Aside from Janette’s colleagues, Dipper had some friends take a look at the writings too, all saying that deciphering it was almost impossible. The way it was written was so complex that it must have been made by things with higher and more complicated brain functions. Though they promised that they need at least three weeks to make a conclusive result from the script after they do a lot of testing, but there were no guarantees. 

That thing etched on the log was a dead end. Their only clue to what is going on in Roirkshire Hills was leading them to nowhere.

But Pacifica did something. Why would she lie about that? What motives could she possibly satisfy? And most of all, why her? Dipper couldn’t help but feel a tinge of envy in his chest. Why couldn’t it have been him? He would have done a lot better handling it. 

He sighed, thinking so selfishly. His team is being torn apart and all he could think of was having some supernatural ability to read ancient alien words. 

He turned his mind on Janette and wondered if she will be able to do anything after the fight. He needed her skills as she was an excellent scientist. The way she processes information in her head is spectacular and he was going to need her functioning properly when the real data arrives. But what was he thinking? What just happened between her and Pacifica was just horrible! No. He must focus on his team’s well-being first before the project. 

Janette was a good friend to him, and she was the first to cheer him up, aside from Mabel and Maggie, of course, when things went south for him three years ago. He trusted her, and she trusted him. They supported each other after Pacifica had left him. She, at the very least, deserves his attention too. 

But somehow Pacifica came first to his priorities.

He found her by the old sugar maple tree in the middle of the yard, a sea of fallen red leaves ringed around it, and its branches have started to grow bald. But the leaves cannot hide the evidence of what happened the other night; there were long scratches carved on the ground, some for as long as three feet. There were also some large indents formed here and there as if cannon balls have been dropped from a height. The tree itself wasn’t safe from whatever happened that night. The scratches were engraved on the trunk, with crusted sap covering it, and a few of the low-hanging branches had either been ripped or cut off. 

He saw Pacifica sitting on the swing, that was miraculously spared from the attack, her bare feet hanging an inch from the ground, as she leaned herself on one side. Her hair shimmered in the afternoon light, as it danced graciously in the cool September wind. Her porcelain skin perfectly scattered the sun’s light on its surface, making her glow like a goddess. She was beautiful, far more than Dipper would admit to himself.

He felt a sudden, warm spark crawl up his spine, heating up his cheeks. He felt like a boy, afraid and insecure to talk to the beautiful girl in class as he realized that Pacifica looked divine. He craved for the touch of her skin, the smell of her hair, and her lips on his as they meet close enough to feel each other’s breath. He craved for the eccentric thrill that they used to share in those summer nights from three years ago. This must be how she feels like. The ever-burning desire to be with the only person who wants to be around with, the peevish realization that he cannot get what he wants. 

It wasn’t new to him. He wanted it since the time he saw her on his doorstep. He just wanted to get back all those years that they had lost, crammed into one night, but he couldn’t. Because there was a problem. Pacifica was  _ Pacifica _ , and as much as she tried, it is difficult for her to see that.

Dipper wanted to know that she was his, and the only way to do that was to make her understand that to be with him, she cannot be her own anymore.

But she still doesn’t get it.

As reality pulled out the fantasies he had on his head, he shook the remnants of the emotions off and approached her. Pacifica still needed him. He knows that, and he still needed her.

He tapped her on the shoulder, smiling, though not as warmly as he’d hoped. Pacifica didn’t bother to look at him, as she just stared into the trees beyond the small stream, her wide blue eyes glittering so perfectly against the light. “Do you need a push?” He kidded, but when Pacifica didn’t respond, he choked and settled on just sitting on the grass, staring into the woods with her.

It took a while, but as expected she opened up. “Why me, Dipper?” She asked, her voice sounding frail. “Why does it have to be me?”

“It’s just luck, I guess.”

“Luck?” She leered at him, turning her beauty into something frightful, like a siren taking a sailor into the water. “You call being dragged by a ghost luck? Do you call having empty nightmares with a shadow-thing just luck? You call reading weird alien words luck?”

_ Poorly chosen words _ .  _ Way to go _ . He slapped himself, raising his hands at her. “No, I didn’t mean that!” He said. “It’s just, it could happen to anyone.”

Pacifica looked at him as if demanding more explanation. And when she didn’t look away, Dipper confirmed that that is what she was looking for. Something to explain what she can’t. “If you hadn’t come along, what happened would still have happened. Maybe to me, or Felix or Janette.”

Pacifica rolled her, dissatisfied.

Dipper breathed loudly. Did he just dodge a bullet?

“But why me?” She moaned. “Why not you? Why not Felix?” She stopped there, refusing to say Janette’s name.

“I really don’t know, Ciphy.”

She felt silent again, not looking at anything anymore. “It’s been only five days and I’m already exhausted.” She finally said, sounding weaker. “I wanna go home, Dip. I don’t want this anymore.”

“You knew what you were putting yourself into, Ciphy. Yet you came along. Why?”

She hesitated, thinking that nothing she could say would make any difference at all, but she couldn’t just hold it anymore. She just wanted to pour it all out “Because I want to be with you.”

Dipper felt his heart slowly be stabbed. He already knew that, but hearing her say it made him felt like a monster to push her away. 

“Do you still want me, Dip?”  She looked at him, tears welling in her eyes but refusing to let them fall. “Do you still want  _ us _ ?”

“Ciphy, you still don’t understand. I-”

“Understand  _ what _ ?” She screamed. “What don’t I understand, Mason?!” She said through gritted teeth. 

Dipper saw the raw anger in her eyes -- that uncontained flare that threatens to burn everything down. “Ciphy, please. I-”

“No! You think you’re doing something good for me by keeping me in the dark. But you’re not! You’re hurting me in a way you could never think of, even with that big head of yours!”

“Pacifica, it’s not like that.”

“It’s Janette, isn’t it?” 

“No.”

“Then what?” She stood over him ominously. “What do you want me to do?”

“To understand.” He said breathlessly.

She stared at him with her melting blue eyes, biting her lips as tears streamed from her face and shaking her head. “Understand what?” She whispered, but Dipper just looked away. She curled her fist and was ready to throw it at him, she could just end everything there, show him how she really feels. It would make her feel a whole lot better if she could just throw the punch at his face with all her mad frustrations, pain and anger. But it was Dipper --  the only person who actually cared for, who actually loved her. The only real friend she had ever had. She didn’t want to hurt him. Never. But he needed to know and so there is only one thing she can do. “Leave,” she said and Dipper looked up, not at all surprised. “Just leave me alone.”

Dipper didn’t say thing else as he slowly walked away back to the house. She was right, though, that Dipper was trying to do something that he thought would help her. He thought that perhaps if she realized it on her own, it would mean a lot more. He loved her, and he always will. But he can’t do anything if she won’t try to see things through his eyes. He didn’t want to be hurt again. He wanted to see if they could trust each other this time.

But while it all looked like an agonizing, awkward picture at the moment, Dipper knew that Pacifica will soon understand, and along the way he will always be there, trying to push her in the right direction. She’ll get there. He knew it. He knew her.

Though, while Dipper prided himself to have an absolute understanding of Pacifica, he was still an idiot. Because while Pacifica asked him to leave, she was begging him to stay. And he didn’t know that at all.

* * *

 

She sat alone on the swing all afternoon until the sun finally set. And after the sun had bid its farewell for the day, she stayed there watching the stars, ignoring Dipper or Felix’s calls to have dinner. But Felix was kind enough to bring her a bowl of chili beans which he cooked, happily eating it with him.

Felix was nice company. He was able to pull her away from her dreadful thoughts to his ridiculous stories of how he first got his bike, or how he stared at girls in his school while wearing x-ray glasses that he bought from a convenient store, and how he complained to the shop owner because it wasn’t working at all. He was able to lighten her up a bit, gave her a few laughs, but eventually, he went back inside. Then her thoughts started moving back into place like a mischievous fog or like oil settling on top of the water. It wasn’t until she finally felt the frozen air bite her bones did she decide that it was time to head back to the house.

She stayed on the porch for a while, feeling the awkward silent air inside. Everyone was quiet, as they all did their jobs -- burying their faces in their books and laptops. Quickly walking across the living room, she tried her best not to attract any attention. She didn’t want any commotion happening anymore as she was simply tired. She only felt safe when she was already in her room, and retreated to an early nights rest.

Before she fell asleep, she stared at the dark ceiling, allowing the hooting owls, chirping crickets and the smooth tinkling of the windchime lull her to sleep. She thought about what happened today, and how she messed everything up. She thought about breaking her promise to Dipper about not being a burden. She thought about how much she wanted to go home. 

Of all the people in the world, why her? She never asked for any of this. She just wanted to be as far away from her parents as possible. She had no idea that coming to Roirkshire Hills would be like  _ this _ , and she now regrets her decision of coming along with them. She’s sourly tired of all this supernatural crap. She wasn’t born to be living in that kind of world where there are ghosts and Bigfoots or _ Chupacabras _ lurking on every corner. That was Dipper’s world, not hers. But at the back of her mind, when she was desperately pleading for him to take her along to Canada, she knew what she was putting herself into. She knew that things could go crazy. And she knew that if she goes with them, she cannot just go back. Pacifica knew exactly the risks of coming along to Canada and she accepted them wholeheartedly without a simple complaint, but the only real question was, why?

Slowly, her thoughts melted away, and her eyes drifted closer and closer together. For the first time in a few days she finally felt at peace, as if by some miracle, her pestering thoughts have decided to leave her to rest. She relished in the thought of finally achieving peace and comfort, even for a small night, and she hoped that tomorrow will turn out better than today. She hoped that all her nightmares will remain at the back of her head, never bothering her again, and she hoped that whatever was keeping them from her will stay there and guard her forever.  

And then, she was asleep.

The night went on rather smoothly, but when everything was quiet, Pacifica heard a soft, familiar whisper, as if from a dream that she was having.

“Wake up.” the voice said.

Her eyes snapped opened, it sounded too real to be part of her dream, but there was no one there.  _ Am I dreaming?  _

But she felt like someone was staring at her, and she could almost see it’s beady red eyes. Or perhaps it was just her imagination.

“Dipper!” She tried to shout, but her voice was caught in her throat. 

“Do not do that.” The voice whispered in her head again, calmly.

She felt frozen on her bed, as fear caught hold of her once more. How could she be foolish enough to believe that her nightmares would just end like that? That the ghosts would just leave? 

Mustering all the courage and strength her poor self could gather, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand and turned on the flashlight and shined it in her room.

There was no one there.

She panned her phone slowly from corner to corner, her hands shivering, but her room was empty.

But on one corner, standing near the window beside a small wooden desk was the familiar, ominous disembodied shadow, standing eerily firm with arms straight on his side.

“ _ Ezekiel _ …” Her voice shivered, bracing herself to be taken again. 

“Do not be worried. I am here to talk.”

  
  
  
  



End file.
